The building loomed over me, its white bricks doubling in size with every step. I [had] looked forward to my first day of high school for several months, yet I felt like a nervous disaster. [I had spent] [m]y summer months spent practicing football with sixty other freshmen, yet that did not remove the fear of not knowing anyone. The butterflies flew in my stomach as a result of a much larger fear, however. I worried that I would not locate my classes, and become hopelessly lost within the labyrinth of twisting halls. I never encountered this fear before, making the situation several times worse.

I took a deep breath and passed through the door’s threshold, certain that I now knew what is was like to pass beneath the archways of an old European castle [!!!]. As I attempted to orient myself, I could not understand why everything appeared gigantic. Only a week ago I visited all of my classrooms, focused particularly upon memorizing the location of my first class, Spanish. It bothered me greatly, therefore, when ten minutes had passed and I still could not locate the room. Luckily, my parents dropped me off thirty minutes early[.] so [T]en minutes still remained when I finally found the room.

When I entered the room, I quickly sat down at my assigned desk, attempting to relax. I noticed my deep breaths and tiny beads of sweat forming along my forehead. The question, “What is wrong with me?” kept running through my mind. Never before had a new setting brought upon such anxiety. New people and places had always been something to look forward to. Now I fought to remain calm. My nerves cooled temporarily as the person behind me sat down, allowing me to find the courage to exchange names. The courage then quickly faded, and the teacher’s words were lost upon me as I worried about finding my Biology class in the four minute window between classes.

I utilized both my map and memory to select the correct corridor to follow to Biology. Suddenly, the halls emptied, and I realized my mistake. I had picked the correct hallway, but the incorrect direction. With no one around to ask for assistance, I began retracing my steps, and restarted my journey from the Spanish room.

The late bell rang as I trudged along, which made feel like my destination was the gallows. Fear of what the teacher was going to do and say, as well the looks on my peers’ faces flashed through my mind. I even said aloud, “Why does this bother me so?” On the inside I knew it should not matter so much, but it did, and I had to handle it.

The number on the door in front [of] me finally matched the one I had circled on the map. I took a deep breath- and stepped into a complete surprise. The teacher barely gave me a second glance, and judging by the looks on everyone’s face, they did not care. “So,” I decided, “neither do I.”

[This is really good. I like the usage of detail. It really captures your emtions and imparts them to the reader. Some awkward structure and lack of proofreading drags this out of the A/A- range.]