Singularity: English 15, Fall 2005: DrDoctorDefinitionNarrative

Most recent edit on 2005-10-02 12:34:59 by EschaTon

Additions:
Throughout the course of history diversity has been the source of many problems and conflicts[, both] uniting and dividing people. In today’s world, diversity has become essential to schools, businesses, and government agencies in more than one way. Ethnic diversity is the most thought of, but institutions can be diverse in more than one way. Dictionary.com states the definition of diversity as “[a] point or respect in which things differ.” Universities aim for being diverse in multiple facets [ways]. Penn State has worked on becoming one of the most diverse schools in the nation ethnically, culturally and academically.
Penn State has 160 baccalaureate degree majors and 21 associate degree majors making it one of the most academically diverse schools in the nation (psu.edu/admissions). People can choose anything from engineering to astrophysics to veterinary medicine. Penn State also offers more than one campus. It has twenty campuses all over the state[,] making it easily accessible to everyone in the state. Few schools can say they are as networked and offer as many choices in post secondary education as Penn State.
Not only does Penn State have a rich academic background, but also a rich cultural diversity. People come from all walks of life, all different backgrounds, and all different upbringings attend Penn State [the beginning and ending of this sentence disagree. Watch for issues of parallelism, such as this]. Penn State encourages people from different backgrounds to come to Penn State. There is both a strong urban and rural presence, everyone mixing in a wide variety of classes and activities. Each group learns from the other[s,] enhancing their knowledge of the world and its diversity. Cultural backgrounds also include a person’s personal background. There are eight churches in the State College area of varying denominations (club.psu.edu). People of all faiths and denominations are welcomed without prejudice.
Another important aspect of heritage is musical background. People at Penn State all have different tastes,[.] When put together they introduce their own tastes to others. Penn State’s participation with Napster makes it even easier to experience another person’s musical taste. With different musical tastes come different ways of dressing and thinking. The heavy metal fans dress in all black while the country “folks” wear their jeans and button up shirts. Punks rage against conformity while the pop culture swirls around those who do conform. Personally, I have friends into punk, metal, country and many offshoots of obscure music. You learn a lot about people just from the kind of music they listen to, the way they dress, or the different ideas they have. This diversity allows people to learn how different people are from one another and to better understand the world.
Quite possibly the most talked about division of diversity is ethnic background [you've said this already. try to find a new way to introduce this paragraph]. Schools often pride themselves on how ethnically diverse they are. Penn State is no different. It has a wide ethnic background with people from every background and culture. The incoming freshman class is highly diverse. Minorities make [up] one ninth of the incoming freshman class and there are three thousand foreign students who also enrolled. This number is only going up. Since 1994, the number of ethnic minorities has grown from six thousand to nine thousand, a fifty percent increase (budget.psu.edu/factbook).
The strong international program is still expanding. There are students from over ten countries studying here. They are perhaps one of the most different and beneficial groups on campus. Students have the opportunity to speak with them and to learn about their culture and their way of life. Few people have ever met or had a relationship with a person from outside the United States [this is a generalization. Do you have support for this claim? (i'm not sure I agree with it). I think if you qualified it some more, it would be fine. For instance, "most American high school students do not have the opportunity to experience people from other nations"]. Their presence adds to the rich ethnic diversity of the college. In addition to this, more study abroad programs are made available each year as well as cultural experiences such as the ISV Summer Travel & Work Programs. They offer many opportunities to travel abroad to such places as Australia and Costa Rica (isvonline.com). Study abroad programs range from Italy to South Africa to our neighbors to the north (international.psu.edu). Increasing foreign involvement adds yet another dimension to Penn State’s wide diversity.
Walking down the street[s at Penn State] you can not help but meet someone different than [from] you at Penn State. They may appear different in one of many ways, but once you get to know them you may find that you have a lot in common[,] and [you both] can learn much from each other [as written, this sent. has problems with parallelism]. Penn State provides a large diversity of people and programs to encourage learning about the world around you. It provides people with opportunities to experience new things. Diversity is an imposing [I think you mean something else. "Imposing" has a negative connotation] feature of Penn State that opens a new door when a student enrolls at Penn State, one on the way to a better understanding of the world. [This last point is very good, but I think the last part "one on the way ..." is confusingly worded and clouds your meaning.]
[Overall, this is a well-written paper, but it does have some problems with parallelism and sentence structure. Try reading your paper outloud, and I think you'll begin to notice a lot of these issues.]

Deletions:
Throughout the course of history diversity has been the source of many problems and conflicts uniting and dividing people. In today’s world, diversity has become essential to schools, businesses, and government agencies in more than one way. Ethnic diversity is the most thought of, but institutions can be diverse in more than one way. Dictionary.com states the definition of diversity as “A point or respect in which things differ.” Universities aim for being diverse in multiple facets. Penn State has worked on becoming one of the most diverse schools in the nation ethnically, culturally and academically.
Penn State has 160 baccalaureate degree majors and 21 associate degree majors making it one of the most academically diverse schools in the nation (psu.edu/admissions). People can choose anything from engineering to astrophysics to veterinary medicine. Penn State also offers more than one campus. It has twenty campuses all over the state making it easily accessible to everyone in the state. Few schools can say they are as networked and offer as many choices in post secondary education as Penn State.
Not only does Penn State have a rich academic background, but also a rich cultural diversity. People come from all walks of life, all different backgrounds, and all different upbringings attend Penn State. Penn State encourages people from different backgrounds to come to Penn State. There is both a strong urban and rural presence, everyone mixing in a wide variety of classes and activities. Each group learns from the other enhancing their knowledge of the world and its diversity. Cultural backgrounds also include a person’s personal background. There are eight churches in the State College area of varying denominations (club.psu.edu). People of all faiths and denominations are welcomed without prejudice.
Another important aspect of heritage is musical background. People at Penn State all have different tastes, When put together they introduce their own tastes to others. Penn State’s participation with Napster makes it even easier to experience another person’s musical taste. With different musical tastes come different ways of dressing and thinking. The heavy metal fans dress in all black while the country “folks” wear their jeans and button up shirts. Punks rage against conformity while the pop culture swirls around those who do conform. Personally, I have friends into punk, metal, country and many offshoots of obscure music. You learn a lot about people just from the kind of music they listen to, the way they dress, or the different ideas they have. This diversity allows people to learn how different people are from one another and to better understand the world.
Quite possibly the most talked about division of diversity is ethnic background. Schools often pride themselves on how ethnically diverse they are. Penn State is no different. It has a wide ethnic background with people from every background and culture. The incoming freshman class is highly diverse. Minorities make one ninth of the incoming freshman class and there are three thousand foreign students who also enrolled. This number is only going up. Since 1994, the number of ethnic minorities has grown from six thousand to nine thousand, a fifty percent increase (budget.psu.edu/factbook).
The strong international program is still expanding. There are students from over ten countries studying here. They are perhaps one of the most different and beneficial groups on campus. Students have the opportunity to speak with them and to learn about their culture and their way of life. Few people have ever met or had a relationship with a person from outside the United States. Their presence adds to the rich ethnic diversity of the college. In addition to this, more study abroad programs are made available each year as well as cultural experiences such as the ISV Summer Travel & Work Programs. They offer many opportunities to travel abroad to such places as Australia and Costa Rica (isvonline.com). Study abroad programs range from Italy to South Africa to our neighbors to the north (international.psu.edu). Increasing foreign involvement adds yet another dimension to Penn State’s wide diversity.
Walking down the street you can not help but meet someone different than you at Penn State. They may appear different in one of many ways, but once you get to know them you may find that you have a lot in common and can learn much from each other. Penn State provides a large diversity of people and programs to encourage learning about the world around you. It provides people with opportunities to experience new things. Diversity is an imposing feature of Penn State that opens a new door when a student enrolls at Penn State, one on the way to a better understanding of the world.

Edited on 2005-09-23 08:48:27 by DrDoctor

No differences.

Edited on 2005-09-23 08:47:53 by DrDoctor

Additions:
Throughout the course of history diversity has been the source of many problems and conflicts uniting and dividing people. In today’s world, diversity has become essential to schools, businesses, and government agencies in more than one way. Ethnic diversity is the most thought of, but institutions can be diverse in more than one way. Dictionary.com states the definition of diversity as “A point or respect in which things differ.” Universities aim for being diverse in multiple facets. Penn State has worked on becoming one of the most diverse schools in the nation ethnically, culturally and academically.
Penn State has 160 baccalaureate degree majors and 21 associate degree majors making it one of the most academically diverse schools in the nation (psu.edu/admissions). People can choose anything from engineering to astrophysics to veterinary medicine. Penn State also offers more than one campus. It has twenty campuses all over the state making it easily accessible to everyone in the state. Few schools can say they are as networked and offer as many choices in post secondary education as Penn State.
Not only does Penn State have a rich academic background, but also a rich cultural diversity. People come from all walks of life, all different backgrounds, and all different upbringings attend Penn State. Penn State encourages people from different backgrounds to come to Penn State. There is both a strong urban and rural presence, everyone mixing in a wide variety of classes and activities. Each group learns from the other enhancing their knowledge of the world and its diversity. Cultural backgrounds also include a person’s personal background. There are eight churches in the State College area of varying denominations (club.psu.edu). People of all faiths and denominations are welcomed without prejudice.
People’s heritage also plays a big role in the overall diversity at Penn State. Different regions have their own unique qualities. For example, some people call soda “pop” and someone from another area calls it a “Coke” no matter what it is. With people from all over the country, sports allegiances are a jumbled mix. An overwhelming majority of people are Eagles or Steelers fans, as seen by the shear numbers of jerseys supporting the teams on Sundays. However, you are able to find people who like teams like the Jets or the Seahawks. The fan base is very wide. The range of sports is also great. You can find fans of just about any sport or people who play just about any sport. Penn State offers one of the biggest intramural sports programs in the country (psu.edu/admissions). It has multiple athletic fields and buildings. Even obscure sports such as squash and handball are offered; where there are people, there are games.
Another important aspect of heritage is musical background. People at Penn State all have different tastes, When put together they introduce their own tastes to others. Penn State’s participation with Napster makes it even easier to experience another person’s musical taste. With different musical tastes come different ways of dressing and thinking. The heavy metal fans dress in all black while the country “folks” wear their jeans and button up shirts. Punks rage against conformity while the pop culture swirls around those who do conform. Personally, I have friends into punk, metal, country and many offshoots of obscure music. You learn a lot about people just from the kind of music they listen to, the way they dress, or the different ideas they have. This diversity allows people to learn how different people are from one another and to better understand the world.
Quite possibly the most talked about division of diversity is ethnic background. Schools often pride themselves on how ethnically diverse they are. Penn State is no different. It has a wide ethnic background with people from every background and culture. The incoming freshman class is highly diverse. Minorities make one ninth of the incoming freshman class and there are three thousand foreign students who also enrolled. This number is only going up. Since 1994, the number of ethnic minorities has grown from six thousand to nine thousand, a fifty percent increase (budget.psu.edu/factbook).
The strong international program is still expanding. There are students from over ten countries studying here. They are perhaps one of the most different and beneficial groups on campus. Students have the opportunity to speak with them and to learn about their culture and their way of life. Few people have ever met or had a relationship with a person from outside the United States. Their presence adds to the rich ethnic diversity of the college. In addition to this, more study abroad programs are made available each year as well as cultural experiences such as the ISV Summer Travel & Work Programs. They offer many opportunities to travel abroad to such places as Australia and Costa Rica (isvonline.com). Study abroad programs range from Italy to South Africa to our neighbors to the north (international.psu.edu). Increasing foreign involvement adds yet another dimension to Penn State’s wide diversity.
Walking down the street you can not help but meet someone different than you at Penn State. They may appear different in one of many ways, but once you get to know them you may find that you have a lot in common and can learn much from each other. Penn State provides a large diversity of people and programs to encourage learning about the world around you. It provides people with opportunities to experience new things. Diversity is an imposing feature of Penn State that opens a new door when a student enrolls at Penn State, one on the way to a better understanding of the world.
“Diversity.” http://www.dictionary.com∞
“Enrollment by Ethnic Category Fall 2004.” http://www.budget.psu.edu/factbook/StudentDynamic/MinorityEnrolbyEthnicity.asp?TableCount=3&ReportCode=H&YearCode=2004Enr∞
http://www.clubs.psu.edu/up/pscg/churches.htm∞
http://www.isvonline.com∞
http://www.psu.edu/admissions/steps/choosing/bacc.htm∞
“Penn State Baccalaureate Majors.” http://www.international.psu.edu/students_study_abroad/summerprog.htm∞

Deletions:
Though the course of history diversity has been the source of many problems and conflicts uniting and separating people. In today’s world diversity has become essential to many institutions in more than one way. Cultural diversity is the most thought of but institutions can be diverse in more than one way. Universities aim for being diverse in all areas. Penn State has worked on becoming one of the most diverse schools in the nation both culturally and academically.
Penn State has 160 baccalaureate degree majors and 21 associate degree majors making it one of the most academically diverse schools in the nation (psu.edu/admissions). People can choose anything from engineering to astrophysics to veterinary medicine. Penn State also offers more than one campus. It has twenty campuses all over the state making it accessible to everyone in the state. Few schools can say they are as networked and offer many choices as Penn State.
Not only does Penn State have a rich academic background but also rich in cultural diversity. People come from all walks of life, all different backgrounds, and all different upbringings. Penn State encourages people from different backgrounds to come to Penn State. There is both a strong urban and rural presence, everyone mixing in a wide variety of classes and activities. Each group learns from the other enhancing their knowledge of the world and its diversity. Cultural backgrounds also include a person’s personal background. There are eight churches in the State College area of varying denominations (club.psu.edu).
People’s heritage also plays a big role in the overall diversity at Penn State. Different regions have their own unique qualities. For example some people call soda pop and someone from another area calls it a Coke not matter what it is. With people from all over the country sports allegiances are a jumbled mix. An overwhelming majority of people are Eagles or Steelers fans, as seen by the shear numbers of jerseys supporting the teams. But you are able to find people who like teams like the Jets or the Titans. The range of sports is also great. You can find fans of just about any sport or people who play just about any sport. Penn State offers one of the biggest intramural sports programs in the country (psu.edu/admissions). Even obscure sports such as squash are offered; where there are people there are games.
Another important aspect of heritage is musical background. People at Penn State all have different tastes and when put together, introduce their own taste to others. Penn State’s participation with Napster makes this even easier to experience another person’s musical taste. With different musical tastes come different ways of dressing. The heavy metal people dress in all black while the country “folks” where their jeans and button up shirts. I personally have friends into punk, metal, country and many offshoots of music. You learn a lot about people just from the kind of music they listen to or the different way they speak.
Quite possibly the most talked about division of diversity is ethnic background. Schools often pride themselves on how ethnically diverse they are. Penn State is no different. It has a wide ethical background with people from every background and culture. The incoming freshman class is highly diverse. One ninth of the incoming class is classified as an ethnic minority. There are three thousand foreign students who also enrolled. This number is only going up. Since 1994, the number of ethnic minorities has grown from six thousand to nine thousand, a fifty percent increase (budget.psu.edu/factbook).
The strong international program is still expanding. There are students from over ten countries all studying here. They are perhaps one of the most different and beneficial groups on campus. Students have the opportunity to speak with them and to learn about their culture and their way of life. Few people have ever met or had a relationship with a person outside the United States. Their presence adds the rich ethnic background of the college.
Walking down the street you can not help but meet someone different than you. They may appear different but once you get to know them you may find that you have a lot in common and can learn much from each other. Penn State provides a large diversity of people to encourage learning about the world around you. It provides people with opportunities to experience new things and people they have never even considered. A new door opens when a student enrolls at Penn State, one on the way to a better understanding of the world.
http://www.clubs.psu.edu/up/pscg/churches.htm∞
“Penn State Baccalaureate Majors.” http://www.psu.edu/admissions/steps/choosing/bacc.htm∞
“Enrollment by Ethnic Category Fall 2004.” http://www.budget.psu.edu/factbook/StudentDynamic/MinorityEnrolbyEthnicity.asp?TableCount=3&ReportCode=H&YearCode=2004Enr∞

Edited on 2005-09-19 00:53:23 by DrDoctor

Additions:
Works Cited
http://www.clubs.psu.edu/up/pscg/churches.htm∞
“Penn State Baccalaureate Majors.” http://www.psu.edu/admissions/steps/choosing/bacc.htm∞
“Enrollment by Ethnic Category Fall 2004.” http://www.budget.psu.edu/factbook/StudentDynamic/MinorityEnrolbyEthnicity.asp?TableCount=3&ReportCode=H&YearCode=2004Enr∞

Edited on 2005-09-19 00:49:40 by DrDoctor

Additions:
Though the course of history diversity has been the source of many problems and conflicts uniting and separating people. In today’s world diversity has become essential to many institutions in more than one way. Cultural diversity is the most thought of but institutions can be diverse in more than one way. Universities aim for being diverse in all areas. Penn State has worked on becoming one of the most diverse schools in the nation both culturally and academically.
Penn State has 160 baccalaureate degree majors and 21 associate degree majors making it one of the most academically diverse schools in the nation (psu.edu/admissions). People can choose anything from engineering to astrophysics to veterinary medicine. Penn State also offers more than one campus. It has twenty campuses all over the state making it accessible to everyone in the state. Few schools can say they are as networked and offer many choices as Penn State.
Not only does Penn State have a rich academic background but also rich in cultural diversity. People come from all walks of life, all different backgrounds, and all different upbringings. Penn State encourages people from different backgrounds to come to Penn State. There is both a strong urban and rural presence, everyone mixing in a wide variety of classes and activities. Each group learns from the other enhancing their knowledge of the world and its diversity. Cultural backgrounds also include a person’s personal background. There are eight churches in the State College area of varying denominations (club.psu.edu).
People’s heritage also plays a big role in the overall diversity at Penn State. Different regions have their own unique qualities. For example some people call soda pop and someone from another area calls it a Coke not matter what it is. With people from all over the country sports allegiances are a jumbled mix. An overwhelming majority of people are Eagles or Steelers fans, as seen by the shear numbers of jerseys supporting the teams. But you are able to find people who like teams like the Jets or the Titans. The range of sports is also great. You can find fans of just about any sport or people who play just about any sport. Penn State offers one of the biggest intramural sports programs in the country (psu.edu/admissions). Even obscure sports such as squash are offered; where there are people there are games.
Another important aspect of heritage is musical background. People at Penn State all have different tastes and when put together, introduce their own taste to others. Penn State’s participation with Napster makes this even easier to experience another person’s musical taste. With different musical tastes come different ways of dressing. The heavy metal people dress in all black while the country “folks” where their jeans and button up shirts. I personally have friends into punk, metal, country and many offshoots of music. You learn a lot about people just from the kind of music they listen to or the different way they speak.

Deletions:
Though the course of history diversity has been the source of many problems and conflicts uniting and separating people. In today’s world diversity has become essential to many institutions in more than one way. Cultural diversity is the most thought of but institutions can be diverse in more than one way. Universities aim for being diverse in all areas. Penn State has worked on becoming one of the most diverse schools in the nation both culturally and academically.

Penn State has 160 baccalaureate degree majors and 21 associate degree majors making it one of the most academically diverse schools in the nation (psu.edu/admissions). People can choose anything from engineering to astrophysics to veterinary medicine. Penn State also offers more than one campus. It has twenty campuses all over the state making it accessible to everyone in the state. Few schools can say they are as networked and offer many choices as Penn State.
Not only does Penn State have a rich academic background but also rich in cultural diversity. People come from all walks of life, all different backgrounds, and all different upbringings. Penn State encourages people from different backgrounds to come to Penn State. There is both a strong urban and rural presence, everyone mixing in a wide variety of classes and activities. Each group learns from the other enhancing their knowledge of the world and its diversity. Cultural backgrounds also include a person’s personal background. There are eight churches in the State College area of varying denominations (club.psu.edu).
People’s heritage also plays a big role in the overall diversity at Penn State. Different regions have their own unique qualities. For example some people call soda pop and someone from another area calls it a Coke not matter what it is. With people from all over the country sports allegiances are a jumbled mix. An overwhelming majority of people are Eagles or Steelers fans, as seen by the shear numbers of jerseys supporting the teams. But you are able to find people who like teams like the Jets or the Titans. The range of sports is also great. You can find fans of just about any sport or people who play just about any sport. Penn State offers one of the biggest intramural sports programs in the country (psu.edu/admissions). Even obscure sports such as squash are offered; where there are people there are games.
Another important aspect of heritage is musical background. People at Penn State all have different tastes and when put together, introduce their own taste to others. Penn State’s participation with Napster makes this even easier to experience another person’s musical taste. With different musical tastes come different ways of dressing. The heavy metal people dress in all black while the country “folks” where their jeans and button up shirts. I personally have friends into punk, metal, country and many offshoots of music. You learn a lot about people just from the kind of music they listen to or the different way they speak.

Oldest known version of this page was edited on 2005-09-19 00:49:27 by DrDoctor []

Page view:

Diversity at Penn State

Though the course of history diversity has been the source of many problems and conflicts uniting and separating people. In today’s world diversity has become essential to many institutions in more than one way. Cultural diversity is the most thought of but institutions can be diverse in more than one way. Universities aim for being diverse in all areas. Penn State has worked on becoming one of the most diverse schools in the nation both culturally and academically.

Not only does Penn State have a rich academic background but also rich in cultural diversity. People come from all walks of life, all different backgrounds, and all different upbringings. Penn State encourages people from different backgrounds to come to Penn State. There is both a strong urban and rural presence, everyone mixing in a wide variety of classes and activities. Each group learns from the other enhancing their knowledge of the world and its diversity. Cultural backgrounds also include a person’s personal background. There are eight churches in the State College area of varying denominations (club.psu.edu).

People’s heritage also plays a big role in the overall diversity at Penn State. Different regions have their own unique qualities. For example some people call soda pop and someone from another area calls it a Coke not matter what it is. With people from all over the country sports allegiances are a jumbled mix. An overwhelming majority of people are Eagles or Steelers fans, as seen by the shear numbers of jerseys supporting the teams. But you are able to find people who like teams like the Jets or the Titans. The range of sports is also great. You can find fans of just about any sport or people who play just about any sport. Penn State offers one of the biggest intramural sports programs in the country (psu.edu/admissions). Even obscure sports such as squash are offered; where there are people there are games.

Another important aspect of heritage is musical background. People at Penn State all have different tastes and when put together, introduce their own taste to others. Penn State’s participation with Napster makes this even easier to experience another person’s musical taste. With different musical tastes come different ways of dressing. The heavy metal people dress in all black while the country “folks” where their jeans and button up shirts. I personally have friends into punk, metal, country and many offshoots of music. You learn a lot about people just from the kind of music they listen to or the different way they speak.

Quite possibly the most talked about division of diversity is ethnic background. Schools often pride themselves on how ethnically diverse they are. Penn State is no different. It has a wide ethical background with people from every background and culture. The incoming freshman class is highly diverse. One ninth of the incoming class is classified as an ethnic minority. There are three thousand foreign students who also enrolled. This number is only going up. Since 1994, the number of ethnic minorities has grown from six thousand to nine thousand, a fifty percent increase (budget.psu.edu/factbook).

The strong international program is still expanding. There are students from over ten countries all studying here. They are perhaps one of the most different and beneficial groups on campus. Students have the opportunity to speak with them and to learn about their culture and their way of life. Few people have ever met or had a relationship with a person outside the United States. Their presence adds the rich ethnic background of the college.

Walking down the street you can not help but meet someone different than you. They may appear different but once you get to know them you may find that you have a lot in common and can learn much from each other. Penn State provides a large diversity of people to encourage learning about the world around you. It provides people with opportunities to experience new things and people they have never even considered. A new door opens when a student enrolls at Penn State, one on the way to a better understanding of the world.

Singularity: English 15, Fall 2005 : DrDoctorDefinitionNarrative