Sunday, December 11th
I've just returned from one interesting study break....A Paternomas party. What is Paternomas you ask? Well, it is the glorious time of year where we gather 'round and celebrate the birth of one of the greatest men alive: Joe Paterno. A brilliant man definitely deserves a brilliant holiday. This was started about one of my Penn State pride-ridden friends who has gone all out with it. This party of hers included a Paternomas tree, a Paterno-claus cake, and lots of food. This new-found holiday may definitely be taken seriously by some. I can't really argue...it
is Joe Paterno.
Saturday, December 10th
What a time it's been from Thursday until now. In that timeframe, I've won an Engineering Design Showcase, dyed my hair, got out of taking a final, and produced a great project. It's only been two days...that's what amazes me. Looking back over this semester, I seem to have experienced so much. A person might take over the course of a year to accomplish all that I have, yet the power of Penn State has done it all in 3 months. I feel productive and significant...it's great. Once I get past my math final, I'll be fine. Until then, time to study...
Thursday, December 8th
The power of a second wind is amazing, I must say. One second you're about to crash, and then a few minutes later, it's like you've awoken from a 5 hour nap in your mind. I wish I could understand how it works.
Today I present my groups much unwanted showcase at the HUB. The ironic thing is, though we were picked as the ones to best represent our class, our original intentions were not to win at all. My entire group's schedules are hectic enough as it is, and now we have to spend 4 hours mindlessly explaining what our engineering concept does over and over and over again to each person who stops by. Maybe no one will show up and we'll be free to go? Here's hoping.
Wednesday, December 7th
It feels
so good to have that paper finally out of the way. Now for my reward...countless days of study. Eh, I'll wait until tomorrow.
My friend just called me up and invited me over to play Donkey Kong on Super Nintendo. That is by far one of the best games ever played. Just thinking about it is making me all childhood-nastalgic. What if we could go back in time to when we were kids? Somehow, for one day, we could play with bugs, eat grass, play in mud, and just enjoy ourselves. A lot of us could use that right about now. Tonight, I'm going to try to make that as possible as I can. Though I may still be a college student in age, I'll make my mind regress to that pure state of childhood.
Tuesday, December 6th
There's so much work I can barely keep my eyes open. I'm surprised that I even have time to jot this down in time before I start my next part of work. I find it comforting, though, to live on campus where everyone around me is experiencing the same thing. You're able to tough it out together and motivate each other to keep going. Is this what dorm life is all about? Even if it's not intended, living all around people doing the same amount of work is so much easier than doing it alone.
I can barely believe the semester's almost over. It seems like only yesterday I was moving in and getting aquainted to college life. Now, I'm preparing to take finals and going through the motions like it's nothing. I've even ajusted to the workload; an amount I had never even imagined accomplishing over a week alone. It's crazy. I still can't comprehend how so much social and academic activity could have happened over the course of 3 months. It makes me feel like I'm using all of my time to its potential and not wasting a second. Life like this seems frustrating at times, but over all greatly fulfilling. I understand now why they say these are the best years of your life.
Sunday, December 4th
With a great weekend out of the way, now it's finally time to get back to work. Blah. I just know that the next two weeks are going to be hell, and I'm entirely dreading tomorrow as the minutes tick away. I guess it's just the price we have to pay for a month of break. I'm sure it's worth it. It will definitely be a big relief once its over.
I loved coming walking home last night in the snow. It brought me such an inner peace, even though it was chaos all around me. Even more, I love looking out my window and seeing a covering on the ground and trees. What is it about snow that makes is so mystical and serene? Perhaps it's just one more of life's mysteries not meant to be revealed.
Satruday, December 3rd
The immatruity of some people never fails to amaze me, particularly more as they get older. We're in college now, and they should learn to
deal with stuff instead of acting in the way of a 10-year-old. Grow up. Not only do you annoy and burden other people, but you are losing out on vital "of-age" experience, forming proper relationships, and coming to proper terms of yourself.
The thing that I find the most ironic about those who are immature is that they never fail to find someone else equally as bad as them, point out their immaturity, and then find that they annoy them. Strange, I recall them acting in the same way. Perhaps they could recognize this and see how annoying they are, themselves. But never, because they will never get past the denial of it even if approached about it. I just pity them. Let them live in unfulfillment and naivety.
Hoc tempore obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
Friday, December 2nd
I hate the cold. And by hate, I mean that I loathe it with a passion.
Unfortunately, for those who hadn't noticed, it's freezing outside. Oh joy. It makes me wish that I had a portable thermal suit that I could walk around it. That would be so awesome, just a heated jumpsuit type of thing, keeping you at a constant room temperature. I need to order one of those. Again, that is something else I must invent.
It's the last weekend of fun. Oh well, I guess I'm going to have to take advantage of that...
Thrusday, December 1st
It's so hard to believe it's December already. Even harder to believe is that it's already been a full semester. We only have a little over week until finals, too. Ouch. Time seems to move faster with every minute that passes. I remeber a month used to be eternity when I was little. Now, I can bare believe a few months have passed. At this rate, I wonder how fast time will pass when I'm 80. Months must seem like weeks; I can't even imagine. It must be hard to cherish the moment when time moves so fast. No wonder old people are always so grumpy.
Citation
"Gay people became less and less willing to accept their status as social outcasts and criminals. However, they had little or no political and social power until the late 1960s, even though some states began invalidating their sodomy laws earlier, with Illinois being the first state to do so in 1962."
Gay Rights. 28 November 2005. Wikipedia. 28 November 2005 <
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/research/r_mla.html>∞.
Sunday, November 27th
Walking back into the dorm room was like walking into home. Stepping inside was so comforting and inviting that I feel no need to ever leave it again.
The highlight of my day, though, was found looking through a pile of my roommate's old cd's. She said she was just going to get rid of them so I figured that I would just check it out. Lo and behold, in front of my eyes sat a legend of a game. A game that everyone has experienced at some point in their childhood lives: Oregan Trail. I was in shock at the sight of it as childhood memories came swirling back. Though I had work to do, I had to put everything aside just to play it again. After years without it's presence, I was overjoyed to be doing it again. And then after multiple attempts and failing each time, I realized why I probably haven't played it in so long...it's impossible. The oxen always have to die...
Friday, November 25th
And now we've moved from the Thanksgiving feast into the notorious "Black Friday". I, for one, will be avoiding the massive shopping activity involved in today's affiars. Sure, there's awesome sales, but things can get rediculous. Early bird specials have people waiting in lines and masses outside the store at 6 in the morning, waiting to grab up all the merchandise they can obtain. Even after the greater deals are cleared out, some people are just rediculous and selfish as they clamor to get what's left. I've never heard of an instance where someone going for a popular item wasn't pushed/shoved out of the way or had it grabbed out of their hands. It's the start of the holiday season...promoted by greed and material wealth.
Sometimes I fear that Christmas has become overly material and has lost its meaning.
Thursday, November 24th
Mmm, Thanksgiving. Here we are year after year consuming massive amounts of calories and tryptophan. Why? Sure, tradition plays the biggest part in it, but what if there was an alternative reason. What if tryptophan was really a narcotic? It would make sense, I mean it does induce sleep, afterall. And it would also explain the reason why it occurs on a regular basis, and also why turkey's so addicting. I wonder how that would change the whole Thanksgiving outlook.
Wednesday, November 23rd
There's nothing like the feeling of the holiday season. It swirls through the air with a gentle force that takes over the heart and lightens the spirit, causing a kind of unspoken serenity within all. It's a power like none other that can unite varieties of minds and lifestyles. All of minkind becomes one power that comes together unintentionally through the soul. How can one holiday strike that much power, though? Perhaps it goes beyond the holiday itself, even beyond the season. It's a living, untangible thing that survives on essence and love. It's a shame that it only comes one time a year. They should find out how to self-produce this feeling and then bottle it. It would make a fortune.
Tuesday, November 22nd
Thanksgiving is approaching, yet it seems not to phase me. Usually when you think of it, it's a whole family gathered around a big table filled with food, laughing and enjoying each other's company. That's the ideal American celebration of it. My Thanskgiving, rather, will be the same as it's been for years. Instead of preparing and cooking a vast meal for all to eat, we will be going to a restaurant. The food's good and all, but it's just not the same. I want the turkey, the stuffing, the unfamiliar dish made by your aunt that's questionably edible. Since when have french fries been a traditional sidedish?
Then, without fail, the traditional family arguement comes up. It's different every year, but always maintains the same level of stupidity. The arguement is generally over something small and then gets drawn out into a huge deal that turns somewhat riotous. How I love my family. So truly, what am I thankful for? Getting home alive.
Monday, November 21st
Anatomies and sructures are so interesting. Every feature serves a specific purpose in means of survival and everyday life. The ears catch sound waves and reverberate, the mouth has properly arranged teach for tearing and chewing, the knees have caps to protect the bone, eyes have lashes to keep dust and other things out, and so on. Can you imagine if one individual feature was changed or taken away? Things would just look so awkward. Just imagine people not having a nose. We'd look like aliens.
The fact that we have naturally been able to turn out the way we did is amazing.
Saturday, November 19th
I'd do anything for people, but when they take full advantage of that, it just pisses me off. My friends came in from Pitt last night, simply assuming that I would be here after I told them that I may have been going home Friday night. They called me up once they were here, and because I'm obviously not busy on a Friday night, said we were getting together and came over to my place. They spent the rest of the night with me and somehow obviously found that spending the night was required. Whatever, I can get over it. It still would have been nice if they had freaking asked...for anything. Blargh.
The thing that's really pissing me off is that, because it was a somewhat dead night, they kept bashing on Penn State and the night life. I couldn't go an hour without hearing "This is pretty lame. How can you like it here? You'd love Pitt. Come to Pitt." F*@# Pitt, no offense to them. I hate that place and its school, and I came to Penn State for a reason. I love it here, so they can just sit around in their little urbanly degrading environment and cheer on the Panthers. I think they're just jealous because their football team sucks.
Friday, November 18th
I love State College, but I just can't wait any longer to go home to the people that I've missed for the past 2 months. I'm determined once again to find a ride home this weekend, without stopping at any cost. Something's just calling to me, pulling me in the direction homeward. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so I'm sure being home for over a week will make coming back to Penn State that much more significant to me. I thought I loved this place now, but I can't imagine how much that will strengthen once I return from being away for an extended period of time. Something tells me that I won't last 3 days before getting PSU sick.
Thursday, November 17th
So I was just reminded of how hectick my family life is, as I just got off the phone with my dad. I just can't understand why he does what he does. Perhaps he isn't happy? I truly don't believe he has truly been happy since as long as I can remember. If I had one wish, it would be that he could experience true joy again, without faking it as he usually does. I'd be willing to still put up with everything else even if this wish was granted. *sigh* If only fairy godmothers really existed. The world would be a great place. Or would it?...
If everyone had their way and the world was and "idealistic" place without pain and suffering, we'd only be living an unfulfilling lifestyle of fake "happiness". One cannont experience joy without knowing it's comparison to pain and suffering. The more we experience bad, the more important and appreciated good is. In all, I guess those who suffer the most pain in turn know the most happiness.
Last night I went to the show at the Crowbar, and though it was nice, something was sparked within my subconcious. Amidst the chaos of the crowd and the mosh pit, it seemed render up old memories from my past. Freshman year of high school was one of the roughest periods of my life. Because of drama and a very troubled home life, I went through a depressional, almost transitional phase. During this phase, I fell into the ska/punk scene and went to local band shows every weekend. Beat through and getting tossed around in the pit was almst a stress relief and escape for me from the actual world. So placed in the same scene I was few years ago, the old memories and scars reappeared. I enjoyed the concert, yes, but the feeling is still with me since it was uncovered from my suppression. I know it'll be gone eventually, but in the mean time it's all a matter of escaping and suppressing my thoughts.
Wednesday, November 16th
I never realized how awkward of a word "Wednesday" is. I've never realized how awkward "awkward" was, either.
I'm in one of those rare, strange times where I barely have any work to do. I've gotten to the point where I'm so used to constantly working that I feel that I'm forgetting or missing something. There has to be something I need to do...there
has to be something. I'm no longer just going online to put off homework, but rather doing it to
use up my time. I like it, but it's just so unfamiliar. I don't know, maybe I just don't know what "free time" is anymore. And if I found out that there
is something I should be doing, I'll hate myself for it.
http://www.illinoisfamily.org/content/img/f22419/Kid%20wGay%20Flag2.jpg∞
For my topic reguarding gay rights and issues with homosexulity, I am able to use this picture in aid of presenting my project. Waving around the rainbow flag, this man shows pride in homosexuality and is making a public statement. He is obviously in support of gay rights and would fight to make it more widely accepted.
Tuesday, November 15th
I am honestly in a state of shock right now. I just talked to Anthony Morelli. I kid you not. For those of you who don't know, that would be our second-string quarterback, #14, and the starting quarterback for next year. And the most amazing thing of all is that he contacted
me. Furthermore, he asked if I was single and wants to hang out sometime. *melts*
I just can't help but find this astounding. I have to wait until after football season to see him, though. Apparently his schedule's pretty busy (imagine that). He's so cool though, and I was able to actually talk to him as a normal person. I can't wait for the next time we get to talk. But nonetheless, wow...
I don't care whether you don't believe it or you think I'm overreacting, I just can't get over this. At least now I had a legitimate reason not to sleep.
Monday, November 14th
Normally, I am an avid Steelers fan...I have been all my life. But being from the Philadelphia area, tonight things change. This is the only,
only night where I will be supporting the Eagles this season. This is merely due to the team they are playing this game. I hate the Dallas Cowboys with a passion. Hate doesn't even begin to explain the loathing I have for the Cowboys. Ever since their defeat over the Steelers in Superbowl XXX, I've held the hugest grudge of animosity against them. Everything about them pisses me off, even down to style of their uniforms. *evil glare* I hope they get slaughtered (literally)...
I hate this whole scheduling by credits thing. I can understand the logic behind it, but still I still think it can be done in a better fashion. I am currently getting screwed over by the registrar's office considering that I'm not able to schedule my next semester until thursday. If you haven't noticed, everything's pretty much taken. Classes that I am
required to take aren't open in any sections. I believe that a new group of people are supposed to be scheduling tomorrow, too. Therefore, I now have no chance in hell to get anything. I'll have to spend the next month checking the availability and drop-outs every day, probably in segmented periods. With my persistence, I'll be watching that site like a hawk. I
will get my classes. I'm too determined for spring semester not to suck.
Wednesday, November 9th
I hate this feeling. The one where you know you've done something wrong and there's nothing you can do because it's too late. What a burdening, torturous human emotion. It just eats away at you from the inside, affecting your thoughts, emotion, appetite, and attitude. In this case, it's getting to me even more so because I know specific wrongs that could have been corrected and made right. I just can't get away from this mindset of "if only i had...". It's times like these that make me wish we could get away from our minds. Just a small vacation from ourselves, our thoughts, our existence, and experience nothing but serenity.
I would settle for an
Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind approach, as well. Simply wipe away the selected part of my short-term memory and life without knowing or thinking of it. Sign me up for some of that.
Like everything else, I guess all I can do is bear through this until it drifts away. After all, it is only through experience and mistakes that we learn and grow.
Monday, November 7th
I spoke too soon. This week is going to avidly suck.
Despite the massive amounts of work I should be trying to knock off, today I couldn't help but spend the entire time in contemplation. I'm talking the meaning of life, the workings of the mind, existence, that kind of stuff. I'm still trying to figure out it if was truly a waste of time, though. I accomplished a significant amount in my own mind, although nothing tangible was accomplished. I'm worried that one day work will eventually consume my life and all of my time. I just hope for more days when I can just put aside life and think about it. I find it more substantial than simple bookwork could ever be, anyway.
Sunday, November 6th
Today is such a bum day, as is every Sunday. I guess it's because it's the same scenario that always ends up happening. After all the festivities of Friday and Saturday, I'm finally faced with all the assigned work I've put off and so I find no chance of doing anything other than working, therefore putting no effort towards anything else. To put it bluntly, I look like complete hell, and I just don't care. There's no life outside of schoolwork today and more or less no fun. Personal appearance just has no importance merely because there is simply no purpose for it. I think I should at least brush my teeth though...
My workload seems to have finally started to settle down, and it's so relieving. Unfortunately, I know that only means it will start up sometime soon. Can't wait for that...in the mean time I'm just trying to enjoy this slight relaxation as much as possible.
Saturday, November 5th
The game against Wisconsin was a great one, as usual. I'm kind of dissapointed in the badgers, though. I honestly expected them to actually put up more of a fight, considering that they hold the same win/loss record as we do, nonetheless hold the same general scoring, too. It's almost unentertaining when there's that kind of lack of struggle within a game. At least it wasn't as bad as the Illinois game...now that was just pathetic. Joe Pa was yelling at them to
stop scoring for god's sake. Anyway, we won and brought our season to a beautiful 9-1. So where to now...the Fiesta Bowl perhaps? Bring it on.
My dad called me the other day with a teary voice just to tell me how lucky I am to experience the best team Penn State's had in years my very first year here. I'm sur e that was more or less him declaring his jealousy of me. He pretty much lives his Penn State dream through me, so I just humor him.
I went to see the No Refund Theater play,
The Mousetrap, the other night. I've gotta say, the production was awesome and the play was amazing. It's the best low-budget theatrical play that I've seen in a while. My friend, who took a decent part in the play, was an astounding actress. I had no idea she could convey her lines in that sort of captivating way. Nonetheless, tonight is its last production and it is well worth going if you're looking for something to do.
Wednesday, November 2nd
Homophobia makes me sick. Literally. Whenever I hear a homophobic remark or see it being looked down upon, I get a knot in my stomach. Why are people so closed-minded?
Why? The concept and reality truly isn't that hard to grasp and accept for what it is. This is how some people
are, not how they chose to be. It's as simple as that. Just because heterosexuality is more widely accepted and purely "natural" doesn't mean that any other inner feeling outside of that should be shunned. The whole thing's rediculous. To be heterosexual is fine, that's who you are, but you have absolutely
no right to tell people their sexual orientation is wrong. Perhaps it is those that are forcing their opinions and beliefs on others who are wrong.
Just for the record, I am stating this from a purely heterosexual standpoint. Though I am straight, I still fully support gay rights and hope that someday people won't be so judgemental, so we can all just live the way it naturally comes to each of us. Why start war over something such as love?
Sunday, October 30th
I can't go a year without seeing a Simpson's Halloween Special or Treehouse of Horror. It's just not Halloween without it. But I never really questioned the warning blurb at the beginning of each show. The contents are supposed to be scary and disturbing? Disturbing maybe, but it's a cartoon. There's only so much that is physically allowed within animation. Firstly, the show is intended to be comical and a satire, which it does so in a remarkable manner. I have never come across a cartoon that I have found to impact me as much as live-film media, though. Perhaps there's something about cartoons that allows us not to take them as being fully serious and realistic. Because it's been produced by humans, it simply is understood on a simpler, less tangible level. The difference is only picture quality...how can its vision and message effect us so differently?
The Simpsons
is a groundbreaking show for cartoons, after all...
Wednesday, October 26th
On the topic of our recent class discussion, I believe that the bear could inihilate the shark. I'm not saying that there wouldn't be a struggle, though. Quite frankly, I think it would be a pretty good fight. In the end though, the bear would have a high advantage over the shark because of its appendages and combination of both teeth and claws. With this upper hand, there is clearly no reason that the bear should not win. The only factor affecting this outcome would be if the bear tripped up or the shark executed a rediculously clever sneak attack.
Tuesday, October 25th
I wish Willy Wonka's Chocolate room existed in real life. Even if it was a rediculously overpriced, walk-through tourist attraction like every other place of interest in the world, it would still be worth it. Just think of the possibilities existing within that room. Grassed composed of sugar cane. Edible teacup flowers. A chocolate river and waterfall. Gummybear-producing trees. It could go on and on. I bet it would make millions.
Although, it would be quite torturous if they were anal about conserving it. You would walk through an entire world of candy and not even be able to touch something, let alone taste it. I know it would be so wonderous that I wouldn't be able to control myself. Jerks. What would be keeping them from just saying it's candy and have it not really be consisting of any form of sugar product. They would... Damn them and their non-existant display.
Monday, October 24th
I have read
The Red Wheelbarrow by William Carlos Whilliams several times in prior english classes, yet it seems to convey more each time I come across it. My initial translation of this poem simply goes beyond words enirely, in which I wish I could verbalize. All I truly can do is identify certain strengths and symbology within the lines of the poem. Firstly, the color of the wheelbarrow plays a huge significance to the message. Red is a strong, powerful vibrant color. This red is then embraced and highlighted by a glaze of rain water, and when placed beside the small white chickens, the color stands out even more magnificently. This clearly shows the strength and importance of the wheelbarrow within the environment. Also, there is a particular pattern and rhythem to the words. When read in a way to best emphasize the line breaks, a sensation of work and persistent movement can be felt through the motion of these words.
Overall, I believe this is a great poem that generally emphasizes the major importance and power of such a minor thing that is usually looked over and unrecognized for its base role in a greater society. Much like the wheelbarrow, the simplicity and vitality of the poem is often underestimated and taken for granted.
http://creativecommons.org/images/public/sampling.gif∞
