Analogy Argument
Today in America, many high school students feel that there high school is a prison. In this modern era in which we are constantly on high alert, high schools have taken so many security measures that we have taken the comfort out of a high school education. We have taken the feeling that a school is a place of learning and replaced it with the feeling that it is a prison. This is a thought that scares me because learning is something that should be enjoyed. I feel that with the set up of today’s high schools discourages students from achieving a love for learning.

Many of the authoritative qualities of prisons have become reflected in high schools. At a high school[,] students are given specific orders as to where they are to be at certain times. If the students are not there, the missing students are hunted down as if they were convicts escaping from prison. Students are also watched carefully from video cameras placed throughout the school. The cafeterias in high schools are patrolled by the high school [a] version of prison guards, the teachers, who pace through the cafeteria to watch for students who are “unruly”. In most high schools there are police officers that patrol the halls. If a student or group of students begins to get out of control, they are extracted immediately from the cafeteria and are then given their punishment, from the high school’s “warden,” the principal. Many may also say that in the classrooms the teachers themselves also act like the wardens.

A rising problem in high school is sexual assault and date rape. [You should bring some statistics in to support this claim (the fact that I told you its a problem isn't enough)] Similarly in prison[,] it often occurs that men get sexually assaulted in the showers by other inmates. No longer can we [Further, we can no longer; you need this because you are making a new point that is related to the previous point (in other words, you don't need a new paragraph) but you do need to indicate the transition] live thinking that when students get into fights, at worst, they walk away with black eyes. If prisoners get into a fight, there exists the possibility of one prisoner seriously injuring or killing another prisoner. Today in high schools if a fight breaks out[,] who is to say that some one won’t pull out a weapon and use it, much like a fight in prison.

In prison, prisoners lose many of their constitutional rights. In high school many of these rights are revoked from the students as well. [This setence is really great (it may be the best in your paper). It is clear and, yet, it perfectly transistions from the previous point!] High school students do not have the right to freedom of speech. They are not allowed to speak what they want when they want to. They cannot express themselves through their appearance, because of dress codes at the [many] high schools. Some high schools [even] require their students to wear uniforms much like prisoners must wear uniforms. In high school, students are not even really allowed to make any decisions. They cannot choose their classes, they cannot choose in what order they have these classes, or when they have their first or last class. Basically every aspect of their lives is controlled by the high school administration; similarly, prisoners have their lives or daily routines controlled by others. [However] [a]t the end of the day, high school students get to leave and go back to society, but prisoners are not granted that luxury.

Today high school students have their every move watched. Gone are the simpler days of the occasional school-yard brawl. Today high school students are carrying weapons and if a fight breaks out someone may become seriously injured. So to counter this, there are police officers in schools full time, and cameras in the schools to monitor student behavior. But in our attempts to protect students have we gone too far with our security? By taking so many measures we lose the comfortable learning environment that should exist in high schools.

[Very nice paper. There were a few rough spots, but, overall, a very good effort.]