Most recent edit on 2005-09-25 14:53:46 by EschaTon
Additions:
Diversity is a word which is thrown around by [this is a colloquialism, they should not be used in academic writing] many universities across the country. It is usually used in reference to many things, particularly when someone is speaking of diversity among[st] a student body. But what really is diversity, and does it even exist at Penn State?
The point of diversity is that once achieved, no one should really notice it even [this is excess verbage. your paper doesn't need it] exists. Unfortunately, the fact that I am writing this paper is proof enough that it has not been achieved at Penn State. The dictionary defines it [diversity] as being “composed of distinct or unlike elements or qualities,” (“Merriam-Webster OnLine.”). I am not too sure that that definition really grasps what diversity is. For me, diversity is a community of people from different backgrounds, both culturally and economically, functioning together without trouble from their differences. The dictionary describes something that could not exist[,] especially at a university the size of Penn State, because it basically describes a group that has people with no similarities in any way.
If diversity really exists, it should not have to be something that is instituted by a plan created by administrators in the front office so they could feel better about themselves. At Penn State there exists something known as “The Framework to Foster Diversity at Penn State.” In it[,] the University basically states that Penn State will be reserving “x” number of spots for each race and the University will be aggressively trying to fill those spots. This is supposed to create [a] “diverse” campus, at least in the eyes of the administration. The fact that a plan and a policy exists is proof that what Penn State is trying to make the campus is not an example of diversity [how so?]. [You should state this earlier, because you are arguing against Penn State's policy before you state and suppport your reasons for doing so ->]It cannot be, because diversity, if it is to truly exist must exist naturally. When someone or some group steps in and decides that they will set a number on the members of a certain race that will exist in an area[,] they are setting up for failure.
A planned system, like the one set out in [T]he [F]ramework (“A Framework to Foster Diversity at Penn State: Introduction”), only creates groups of different races, religions, etc. that isolate themselves from others, as opposed to one unified group of people. On campus it is obvious that members of different races form their own groups rather than mix [is it obvious? I mean, I agree with you, but you should support this claim]. This is proof that we are not yet diverse. Because we have these groups it becomes impossible for us to truly notice that as human beings we all have commonalities that we share. Until that is realized by all, the cruel stereotypes of all people will continue to exist, causing us to drift further from our goal of true diversity. [Great paragraph, but, I think, to make this point stronger, you should have hunted down some opinion/editorial articles on affirmative action. There has been much said, on all sides of racial lines, both for and against affirmative action. I am sure that others have made these points as well, and it would have been benefitial to find some of them]
The University posts the number of Asians American, African Americans, and several other races that were enrolled here in 2004 on the budget office’s website. This is proof that here at Penn State we are not diverse. Until we stop to notice our differences we can only make empty claims of diversity on our campus, because that shows a lack of heart. We must stop seeing it as almost 33,000 whites, more than 3200 international students and over 5000 “minorities”, and begin to see the student population as over 41,000 people (“Penn State Fact Book” Table 2) [!!!]. Until that happens, we will never achieve any level of diversity and just continue to be numbers.
The worst part about the University’s systematic approach to diversity is that it isn’t done with the idea of creating a better society. It is done only so that the office of admissions can claim to have diversity. They use these numbers to brag to other schools that they have “diversity” because they have so many Asian Americans and so many African Americans, [while] the whole time not once thinking that they are even talking about human lives. If the university ever once thinks about the fact that they had those numbers and had a plan to try make our University “diverse” they would clearly realize what a mistake they had made by forgetting about the people. [Try something like: By forgetting about the people behind the numbers, the University is doing a disservice to the student community or something like that. This sentence, as written, is confusing] Right now, they only care about the numbers and that is why our goal appears to be unattainable[.]
Diversity is not just collection of differences, but rather a natural collection of people who do not realize their differences. I know that this is a naïve goal but if anyone ever stops to dream that [I don't think is what you mean here], then the work of so many great men and women who fought for civil rights is lost. We must not plan out our minority groups but rather let the numbers grow on their own. We must also forget about the numbers because they drive us apart by making us stop from thinking about people. We must[,] above all else[,] stop thinking about creating diversity for any other reason than because it is what is right. We cannot stop fighting for this cause, because it a good one. Always remember[,] as Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” (King, paragraph 4)
[Very good paper. This paper does exhibit some underdeveloped claims and a style of writing that could do with some streamlining. By streamlining, I mean cutting out words that don't add anything to your paper's meaning. By focusing on clarity, your papers can be sharpened and the cut straight to the reader]
Deletions:
Diversity is a word which is thrown around by many universities across the country. It is usually used in reference to many things, particularly when someone is speaking of diversity among a student body. But what really is diversity, and does it even exist at Penn State?
The point of diversity is that once achieved, no one should really notice it even exists. Unfortunately, the fact that I am writing this paper is proof enough that it has not been achieved at Penn State. The dictionary defines it as being “composed of distinct or unlike elements or qualities,” (“Merriam-Webster OnLine.”). I am not too sure that that definition really grasps what diversity is. For me, diversity is a community of people from different backgrounds, both culturally and economically, functioning together without trouble from their differences. The dictionary describes something that could not exist especially at a university the size of Penn State, because it basically describes a group that has people with no similarities in any way.
If diversity really exists, it should not have to be something that is instituted by a plan created by administrators in the front office so they could feel better about themselves. At Penn State there exists something known as “The Framework to Foster Diversity at Penn State.” In it the University basically states that Penn State will be reserving “x” number of spots for each race and the University will be aggressively trying to fill those spots. This is supposed to create “diverse” campus, at least in the eyes of the administration. The fact that a plan and a policy exists is proof that what Penn State is trying to make the campus is not an example of diversity. It cannot be, because diversity, if it is to truly exist must exist naturally. When someone or some group steps in and decides that they will set a number on the members of a certain race that will exist in an area they are setting up for failure.
A planned system, like the one set out in the framework (“A Framework to Foster Diversity at Penn State: Introduction”), only creates groups of different races, religions, etc. that isolate themselves from others, as opposed to one unified group of people. On campus it is obvious that members of different races form their own groups rather than mix. This is proof that we are not yet diverse. Because we have these groups it becomes impossible for us to truly notice that as human beings we all have commonalities that we share. Until that is realized by all, the cruel stereotypes of all people will continue to exist, causing us to drift further from our goal of true diversity.
The University posts the number of Asians American, African Americans, and several other races that were enrolled here in 2004 on the budget office’s website. This is proof that here at Penn State we are not diverse. Until we stop to notice our differences we can only make empty claims of diversity on our campus, because that shows a lack of heart. We must stop seeing it as almost 33,000 whites, more than 3200 international students and over 5000 “minorities”, and begin to see the student population as over 41,000 people (“Penn State Fact Book” Table 2). Until that happens, we will never achieve any level of diversity and just continue to be numbers.
The worst part about the University’s systematic approach to diversity is that it isn’t done with the idea of creating a better society. It is done only so that the office of admissions can claim to have diversity. They use these numbers to brag to other schools that they have “diversity” because they have so many Asian Americans and so many African Americans, the whole time not once thinking that they are even talking about human lives. If the university ever once thinks about the fact that they had those numbers and had a plan to try make our University “diverse” they would clearly realize what a mistake they had made by forgetting about the people. Right now, they only care about the numbers and that is why our goal appears to be unattainable
Diversity is not just collection of differences, but rather a natural collection of people who do not realize their differences. I know that this is a naïve goal but if anyone ever stops to dream that, then the work of so many great men and women who fought for civil rights is lost. We must not plan out our minority groups but rather let the numbers grow on their own. We must also forget about the numbers because they drive us apart by making us stop from thinking about people. We must above all else stop thinking about creating diversity for any other reason than because it is what is right. We cannot stop fighting for this cause, because it a good one. Always remember as Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” (King, paragraph 4)
Edited on 2005-09-22 20:17:25 by ElwoodBlues
Additions:
Diversity is a word which is thrown around by many universities across the country. It is usually used in reference to many things, particularly when someone is speaking of diversity among a student body. But what really is diversity, and does it even exist at Penn State?
The point of diversity is that once achieved, no one should really notice it even exists. Unfortunately, the fact that I am writing this paper is proof enough that it has not been achieved at Penn State. The dictionary defines it as being “composed of distinct or unlike elements or qualities,” (“Merriam-Webster OnLine.”). I am not too sure that that definition really grasps what diversity is. For me, diversity is a community of people from different backgrounds, both culturally and economically, functioning together without trouble from their differences. The dictionary describes something that could not exist especially at a university the size of Penn State, because it basically describes a group that has people with no similarities in any way.
If diversity really exists, it should not have to be something that is instituted by a plan created by administrators in the front office so they could feel better about themselves. At Penn State there exists something known as “The Framework to Foster Diversity at Penn State.” In it the University basically states that Penn State will be reserving “x” number of spots for each race and the University will be aggressively trying to fill those spots. This is supposed to create “diverse” campus, at least in the eyes of the administration. The fact that a plan and a policy exists is proof that what Penn State is trying to make the campus is not an example of diversity. It cannot be, because diversity, if it is to truly exist must exist naturally. When someone or some group steps in and decides that they will set a number on the members of a certain race that will exist in an area they are setting up for failure.
A planned system, like the one set out in the framework (“A Framework to Foster Diversity at Penn State: Introduction”), only creates groups of different races, religions, etc. that isolate themselves from others, as opposed to one unified group of people. On campus it is obvious that members of different races form their own groups rather than mix. This is proof that we are not yet diverse. Because we have these groups it becomes impossible for us to truly notice that as human beings we all have commonalities that we share. Until that is realized by all, the cruel stereotypes of all people will continue to exist, causing us to drift further from our goal of true diversity.
The University posts the number of Asians American, African Americans, and several other races that were enrolled here in 2004 on the budget office’s website. This is proof that here at Penn State we are not diverse. Until we stop to notice our differences we can only make empty claims of diversity on our campus, because that shows a lack of heart. We must stop seeing it as almost 33,000 whites, more than 3200 international students and over 5000 “minorities”, and begin to see the student population as over 41,000 people (“Penn State Fact Book” Table 2). Until that happens, we will never achieve any level of diversity and just continue to be numbers.
The worst part about the University’s systematic approach to diversity is that it isn’t done with the idea of creating a better society. It is done only so that the office of admissions can claim to have diversity. They use these numbers to brag to other schools that they have “diversity” because they have so many Asian Americans and so many African Americans, the whole time not once thinking that they are even talking about human lives. If the university ever once thinks about the fact that they had those numbers and had a plan to try make our University “diverse” they would clearly realize what a mistake they had made by forgetting about the people. Right now, they only care about the numbers and that is why our goal appears to be unattainable
Deletions:
Diversity is a word which is thrown around by many universities across the country. It is usually used in reference to many things, particularly when someone is speaking of diversity among a student body. The dictionary defines it as being “composed of distinct or unlike elements or qualities,” (“Merriam-Webster OnLine.”). That definition describes something that could not exist especially at a university the size of Penn State. That definition describes a group that has people with no similarities in any way, which is not a possibility and I doubt that anyone would want it to be one. Penn State describes diversity as something that can be planned and forced in its Framework to Diversity (“A Framework to Foster Diversity at Penn State: Introduction”). This to me does not seem right. Is it really diversity when it has been planned ahead of time and is forced by administration? This then brings into question whether the University wants true diversity or something that they can show off to others in order to make those in charge seem as though they care about diversity.
My definition of diversity is a community of people from different backgrounds, both culturally and economically, functioning together without trouble from their differences. If diversity really exists, it should not have to be something that is instituted by a plan created by administrators in the front office so they could feel better about themselves. The fact that a plan and a policy exists is proof that what exists is not true diversity. It cannot be, because diversity, if it is to truly exist must exist naturally. When someone or some group steps in and decides that they will set a number on the members of a certain race that will exist in an area they are setting up for failure. That does not help to create a unified existence. A planned system, like the one set out in the framework (“A Framework to Foster Diversity at Penn State: Introduction”), only creates groups of different races, religions, etc. that isolate themselves from others. Anyone who walks through the campus can notice people from different racial groups separated from other groups. This injustice is proof that we are not yet diverse. Because of the current situation in which we have these groups it becomes impossible for us to truly notice that as human beings we all have commonalities that we share. That is the reason why the cruel stereotypes exist, causing us to drift further from our goal of true diversity.
The point of diversity is that once achieved no one should really notice it even exists. The fact that I am writing this paper is proof enough that it has not been achieved at Penn State. Because the University posts the number of Asians American, African Americans, and etc. that were enrolled here in 2004 on the budget office’s website, is proof once more that we, Penn State, are not diverse. Until we stop to notice our differences we can only make empty claims of diversity on our campus, because that shows a lack of heart. We must stop seeing it as almost 33,000 whites, more than 3200 international students and over 5000 “minorities”, and begin to see the student population as over 41,000 people (“Penn State Fact Book” Table 2). Until that happens, we will never achieve any level of diversity and just continue to be numbers.
The worst part about the University’s systematic approach to diversity is that it isn’t done with the idea of creating a better society. It is done only so that the office of admissions can claim to have diversity. They use these numbers to brag to other schools that they have “diversity” because they have so many Asian Americans and so many African Americans, the whole time not once thinking that they are even talking about human lives. If the university ever once thinks about the fact that they had those numbers and had a plan to try make our University “diverse” they would clearly realize what a mistake they had made by forgetting about the people. Right now, they only care about the numbers and that is why our goal appears to be unattainable.
Edited on 2005-09-19 16:41:20 by ElwoodBlues
Additions:
Diversity is a word which is thrown around by many universities across the country. It is usually used in reference to many things, particularly when someone is speaking of diversity among a student body. The dictionary defines it as being “composed of distinct or unlike elements or qualities,” (“Merriam-Webster OnLine.”). That definition describes something that could not exist especially at a university the size of Penn State. That definition describes a group that has people with no similarities in any way, which is not a possibility and I doubt that anyone would want it to be one. Penn State describes diversity as something that can be planned and forced in its Framework to Diversity (“A Framework to Foster Diversity at Penn State: Introduction”). This to me does not seem right. Is it really diversity when it has been planned ahead of time and is forced by administration? This then brings into question whether the University wants true diversity or something that they can show off to others in order to make those in charge seem as though they care about diversity.
My definition of diversity is a community of people from different backgrounds, both culturally and economically, functioning together without trouble from their differences. If diversity really exists, it should not have to be something that is instituted by a plan created by administrators in the front office so they could feel better about themselves. The fact that a plan and a policy exists is proof that what exists is not true diversity. It cannot be, because diversity, if it is to truly exist must exist naturally. When someone or some group steps in and decides that they will set a number on the members of a certain race that will exist in an area they are setting up for failure. That does not help to create a unified existence. A planned system, like the one set out in the framework (“A Framework to Foster Diversity at Penn State: Introduction”), only creates groups of different races, religions, etc. that isolate themselves from others. Anyone who walks through the campus can notice people from different racial groups separated from other groups. This injustice is proof that we are not yet diverse. Because of the current situation in which we have these groups it becomes impossible for us to truly notice that as human beings we all have commonalities that we share. That is the reason why the cruel stereotypes exist, causing us to drift further from our goal of true diversity.
The point of diversity is that once achieved no one should really notice it even exists. The fact that I am writing this paper is proof enough that it has not been achieved at Penn State. Because the University posts the number of Asians American, African Americans, and etc. that were enrolled here in 2004 on the budget office’s website, is proof once more that we, Penn State, are not diverse. Until we stop to notice our differences we can only make empty claims of diversity on our campus, because that shows a lack of heart. We must stop seeing it as almost 33,000 whites, more than 3200 international students and over 5000 “minorities”, and begin to see the student population as over 41,000 people (“Penn State Fact Book” Table 2). Until that happens, we will never achieve any level of diversity and just continue to be numbers.
The worst part about the University’s systematic approach to diversity is that it isn’t done with the idea of creating a better society. It is done only so that the office of admissions can claim to have diversity. They use these numbers to brag to other schools that they have “diversity” because they have so many Asian Americans and so many African Americans, the whole time not once thinking that they are even talking about human lives. If the university ever once thinks about the fact that they had those numbers and had a plan to try make our University “diverse” they would clearly realize what a mistake they had made by forgetting about the people. Right now, they only care about the numbers and that is why our goal appears to be unattainable.
Diversity is not just collection of differences, but rather a natural collection of people who do not realize their differences. I know that this is a naïve goal but if anyone ever stops to dream that, then the work of so many great men and women who fought for civil rights is lost. We must not plan out our minority groups but rather let the numbers grow on their own. We must also forget about the numbers because they drive us apart by making us stop from thinking about people. We must above all else stop thinking about creating diversity for any other reason than because it is what is right. We cannot stop fighting for this cause, because it a good one. Always remember as Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” (King, paragraph 4)
Deletions:
Diversity is a word which is thrown around too often by many universities across the country. It is usually used in reference to many things, particularly when someone speaking of diversity among a student body. The dictionary defines it as being “composed of distinct or unlike elements or qualities,” (“Merriam-Webster OnLine.”). That definition describes something that couldn’t exist especially at a university the size of Penn State. It describes a group that has people with no similarities in any way, which is not a possibility and I doubt that anyone would want it to be one. Penn State describes diversity as something that can be planned and forced in its Framework to Diversity (“A Framework to Foster Diversity at Penn State: Introduction”). This to me does not seem right. Is it really diversity when it has been planned a head of time and is forced by another person? This then brings into question whether the University wants true diversity or something that they can show off to others as to make those who are in charge seem as though they care about diversity.
My definition of diversity is a community of people from different backgrounds, both culturally and economically, functioning together without trouble from their differences. If diversity really exists it should not have to be something that is instituted by a plan created by some people in an office so could feel better about themselves. The fact that a plan and a policy exists is proof that what exists is not diversity. It cannot be because diversity, if it is to truly exist must of course exist naturally. When someone or some group steps in and decides that they will set a number on the members of a certain race that will exist in an area they are setting up for failure. That doesn’t help to create unified existence. A planned system, like the one set out in the framework (“A Framework to Foster Diversity at Penn State: Introduction”), only creates groups of different races, religions, etc. that isolate themselves from others. Anyone who walks through the campus can notice that people from different racial groups separated from other groups. This injustice is proof that we are not yet diverse yet. Because of the current situation in which we have these groups it becomes impossible for us to truly notice that as human beings we all have commonalities that we share. That is the reason that cruel stereotypes why we have the cruel stereotypes that exist and that cause us to drift further from our goal of true diversity.
The point of diversity is that once achieved no one should really notice it even exists. The fact that I am writing this paper is proof enough that it has not been achieved at Penn State. Because the University posts the number of Asians American, African Americans, and etc. that were enrolled here in 2004 on the budget office’s website, is proof once more that we (Penn State) are not diverse. Until we stop to notice our differences we can only make empty claims of diversity on our campus, because that shows a lack of heart. We can’t treat people and there differences. We must stop seeing it as almost 33,000 whites, more than 3200 international students and over 5000 “minorities”, and begin to see the student population as over 41,000 people (“Penn State Fact Book” Table 2). Until that happens will never achieve any layer of diversity and just continue to be numbers.
The worst part about the Universities systematic approach to diversity is that it isn’t done with the idea of creating a better society. It is done only so that the office of admissions can claim to have diversity. They use these numbers to brag to other schools that they have “diversity” because they have so many Asian Americans and so many African Americans, the whole time once thinking that they are even talking about human lives. If the university ever once thinks about the fact that they had those numbers and had a plan to try make our University “diverse” they would clearly realize what a mistake they had made by forgetting about the people but right now they only care about the numbers and that is why our goal is unattainable.
Diversity is not just collection of differences, but rather a natural collection of people who don’t realize there differences. I know that this is a naïve goal but if anyone ever stops to dream that, then the work of so many great men and women who fought for civil rights is lost. We must not plan out our minority groups but rather let the numbers grow on their own. We must also forget about the numbers because they drive us apart by making us stop from think in a unified sense. We must above all else stop thinking about creating diversity for any other reason than because it is what is right. We cannot stop fighting for this cause, because it a good one. Always remember as Martin Luther King Jr. said “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” (King, paragraph 4)
Edited on 2005-09-19 10:42:04 by ElwoodBlues
No differences.
Oldest known version of this page was edited on 2005-09-19 10:38:39 by ElwoodBlues []
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Definition Argument: Diversity
Diversity is a word which is thrown around too often by many universities across the country. It is usually used in reference to many things, particularly when someone speaking of diversity among a student body. The dictionary defines it as being “composed of distinct or unlike elements or qualities,” (“Merriam-Webster
OnLine.”). That definition describes something that couldn’t exist especially at a university the size of Penn State. It describes a group that has people with no similarities in any way, which is not a possibility and I doubt that anyone would want it to be one. Penn State describes diversity as something that can be planned and forced in its Framework to Diversity (“A Framework to Foster Diversity at Penn State: Introduction”). This to me does not seem right. Is it really diversity when it has been planned a head of time and is forced by another person? This then brings into question whether the University wants true diversity or something that they can show off to others as to make those who are in charge seem as though they care about diversity.
My definition of diversity is a community of people from different backgrounds, both culturally and economically, functioning together without trouble from their differences. If diversity really exists it should not have to be something that is instituted by a plan created by some people in an office so could feel better about themselves. The fact that a plan and a policy exists is proof that what exists is not diversity. It cannot be because diversity, if it is to truly exist must of course exist naturally. When someone or some group steps in and decides that they will set a number on the members of a certain race that will exist in an area they are setting up for failure. That doesn’t help to create unified existence. A planned system, like the one set out in the framework (“A Framework to Foster Diversity at Penn State: Introduction”), only creates groups of different races, religions, etc. that isolate themselves from others. Anyone who walks through the campus can notice that people from different racial groups separated from other groups. This injustice is proof that we are not yet diverse yet. Because of the current situation in which we have these groups it becomes impossible for us to truly notice that as human beings we all have commonalities that we share. That is the reason that cruel stereotypes why we have the cruel stereotypes that exist and that cause us to drift further from our goal of true diversity.
The point of diversity is that once achieved no one should really notice it even exists. The fact that I am writing this paper is proof enough that it has not been achieved at Penn State. Because the University posts the number of Asians American, African Americans, and etc. that were enrolled here in 2004 on the budget office’s website, is proof once more that we (Penn State) are not diverse. Until we stop to notice our differences we can only make empty claims of diversity on our campus, because that shows a lack of heart. We can’t treat people and there differences. We must stop seeing it as almost 33,000 whites, more than 3200 international students and over 5000 “minorities”, and begin to see the student population as over 41,000 people (“Penn State Fact Book” Table 2). Until that happens will never achieve any layer of diversity and just continue to be numbers.
The worst part about the Universities systematic approach to diversity is that it isn’t done with the idea of creating a better society. It is done only so that the office of admissions can claim to have diversity. They use these numbers to brag to other schools that they have “diversity” because they have so many Asian Americans and so many African Americans, the whole time once thinking that they are even talking about human lives. If the university ever once thinks about the fact that they had those numbers and had a plan to try make our University “diverse” they would clearly realize what a mistake they had made by forgetting about the people but right now they only care about the numbers and that is why our goal is unattainable.
Diversity is not just collection of differences, but rather a natural collection of people who don’t realize there differences. I know that this is a naïve goal but if anyone ever stops to dream that, then the work of so many great men and women who fought for civil rights is lost. We must not plan out our minority groups but rather let the numbers grow on their own. We must also forget about the numbers because they drive us apart by making us stop from think in a unified sense. We must above all else stop thinking about creating diversity for any other reason than because it is what is right. We cannot stop fighting for this cause, because it a good one. Always remember as Martin Luther King Jr. said “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” (King, paragraph 4)
Works Cited
“A Framework to Foster Diversity at Penn State: Introduction”. U Ed. July 22, 2005. 18 Sept. 2005 <
http://www.equity.psu.edu/Framework/intro.asp∞∞>
King, Martin Luther, Jr. “Letter from Birmingham Jail”. 16 Apr.1963. www.nobelprizes.com. 17 Sept. 2005. <
http://www.nobelprizes.com/nobel/peace/MLK-jail.html∞∞>
“Merriam-Webster
OnLine.” 2005. Merriam-Webster, Incorporated. 18 Sept 2005. <
http://www.merriam-webster.com∞∞>
“The Penn State Fact Book.” Fall 2004. The Pennsylvania State University. 17 Sept. 2005 <
http://www.budget.psu.edu/factbook/StudentDynamic/MinorityEnrolbyEthnicity.asp?TableCount=3&ReportCode=H&YearCode=2004Enr>∞.