Singularity: English 15, Fall 2005: Works Cited

Remixed Definitional Argument

Martin Luther King Jr. said, in his ["]Letter from Birmingham Jail["; as this is the piece's title, you have to put in quotes. You could have also said letter from Birmingham Jail], “The nations of Asia and Africa are moving with jet like speed toward gaining political independence, but we stiff creep at horse-and-buggy pace toward gaining a cup of coffee at a lunch counter.” This quote is intertwined with the beginnings of what we think of today as diversity. Diversity is something that started out as equality. What we call diversity today sprung from the same ideology that affirmative action, women’s rights, and even black right’s came from. Today, diversity is a coveted thing, something that all workplaces, universities and governments strive for. History seems to have a sense of humor, because just thirty or forty years ago, we were striving to achieve just the opposite (segregation). Diversity in thought, race, stance, religion and a myriad of other things are what is sought after in the modern day. I also believe that to define something such as diversity would be going against the idea of the word.

In my personal experience, diversity has been something that I have had to fight against. Being from a white family who lives in the suburbs, I am not notable according to the definitions that universities give “diversity.” I am talking about diversity in the racial sense. Universities want to have more and more minorities in their schools, so they can claim that they are diverse. Also the universities like to throw around the numbers that reflect that they are, in fact, a diverse campus. The minorities that are focused on are African American, Asian American, Hispanic American, and Native American, in descending order according to the Penn State University Fact Book.

The next facet of diversity that has affected me the most is the political version of diversity. I have always been somewhat in the middle of things, a moderate, but I have always leaned slightly to the left, though most of the people in my high school leaned much farther to the left than me. However, at Penn State University I have noticed a balance of ideals. There are countless conservatives that go to this school and I believe that this is the way it should be, because without someone challenging your beliefs, how can you really be sure about them? Also, surprisingly, or maybe not, [It's okay to take stands like this] there are many Libertarians, Communists, and other splinter groups that all have some kind of representation[represented] here.

Diversity is a term exactly like truth. To define it, is to confine it [Nice]. I believe that diversity is one of those slippery words that depends on your perspective. Any of the ways we mentioned in class to define it would work, although I believe that you have to experience it. To modern day society, diversity seems to make people think of the University of Michigan. Last year, it was discovered that if you are a minority, you gain extra points in their points system that determines who is accepted into the university if you are a minority [whoops, didn't read this sent. too clearly; you should also cite an article about this, just to verify for your readers that it is true (because I never heard about this, for instance)]. Some people believed that this was wrong. I believe that this is affirmative action, but we won’t open that can of worms. This is only one way to define diversity. [This sentence is good, but you need to let your readers see how this is a definition of diversity (even if you just connect it to what you said earlier). I see where you wanted to take a discussion of Michigan's policy, but I don't think you really fully ran with it, as much as you could have.]

Searching our library’s website I ran across an article about Rutgers University Library Model, according to diversity, states, [The Rutgers University Library Model states that,] “the narrow definition of diversity, i.e. race, gender, and national origin [[masks a]?; when quoting something, you need to make sure that it continues to make sense in the context of the paragraph (if you have to put something not said by the author in the quote to do this, you can put it in brackets]… wider range of issues reflecting a more holistic definition of diversity which included religion, sexual orientation, disabilities and most controversial for the libraries, classicism and bias in the workplace.” This seems to be searching for a wider, all encompassing definition of diversity. However, this definition seems to be the physical definition, only defining people by their preference and abilities, not how they think or reason. I believe to properly define diversity; we must include everything [that's kind of a broad term, perhaps "metal and physical attributes" might be more appropriate. I see what where you want to take this, but to define something, you still have to give it some kind of limits in order for it be deployable] to be unbiased and somewhat indifferent. Diversity includes everything from politics, and appearances, all the way to backgrounds and race.

Basically, [D]iversity can be defined many different ways [you've said this a number of times; don't repeat yourself, you're better than that]. It is usually defined to [by] what context it is found in. For instance, it could be defined by religion,[:] in England, diversity may mean more Catholic worshippers than usual. However, in England, the main religion would still be Anglican. In this example, diversity would be anything other than more Anglican worshippers. This is because England has an influx of this specific religion because of its heritage. The United States does not have this problem because we have a wealth of many religions, even though Christian worshippers are the main worshipping group; we still have prominent groups of other religions such as Islam, Hindu, Buddhism, etc. [This is a thorny mess of a paragraph. Try to write more clearly]

Overall, diversity can be defined many ways [you've made this point already], so in order to define diversity;[,] we must come up with a rather loose and fluid definition. Diversity can be defined as everything that sets us apart from each other; it could be anything ranging from hair color, to political allegiance. To define diversity is to confine it. However, with a definition such as this, we have a fluid and ever changing boundary. I believe that this is the only way that we can successfully define something such as diversity. With the definition of truth, it was so general as to say it’s based on one’s own perspective, which is true or false. This is the same general idea as my definition for diversity. This is the only way to define these fluid concepts that keeps the integrity of the word.

[So, there are a lot of problems with this essay (although, there are also a number of good things):

You don't explain how policies of diversity, such as University of Michigan's points system, don't work with your model of diversity. If diversity is difference (which I agree with you), how can a university such as Penn State better move towards a more diverse campus without engaging in affirmative action?
Look over the paragraph in which you discuss Anglicanism. It is an excellent example of unclear writing. You make an excellent point (and it is an interesting example), but the writing style is extremely confusing. Read over the paragraph again and outline the points you want to make, then try to construct sentences that move from one point to the next. There are a lot of sentences that seem to spin away from the point you are trying to make, such as the sent. that starts "However, in England...".

There is a lot of repitition. You say that diversity can be defined many ways several times in the paper. Your audience is not stupid. It's okay to assume that they will remember what you are talking about, without you restating it over and over again.]

Works Cited

Geddis, Catherine. Changing the Paradigm; the Rutgers University Libraries Model. October, 1998. Rutgers University. 17 Sept. 2005. <http://www.libraries.psu.edu/admin/diversity/conf/rutgers.htm∞>

King, Martin Luther, Jr. Letter from Birmingham Jail. 16 Apr.1963. www.nobelprizes.com. 17 Sept. 2005. <http://www.nobelprizes.com/nobel/peace/MLK-jail.html∞>

Moore, John. Proposal for Revising the Intercultural/International Competence Requirement. 27 Apr. 2004. The Pennsylvania State University. Saturday, September 17th, 2005. <http://www.senate.psu.edu/record/record042704.htm#caandue∞>

The Penn State Fact Book. Fall 2004. The Pennsylvania State University. 1 Oct. 1999 <http://www.budget.psu.edu/factbook/StudentDynamic/MinorityEnrolbyEthnicity.asp?TableCount=3&ReportCode=H&YearCode=2004Enr>∞.

Definitional Argument

Martin Luther King Jr. said, in his Letter from Birmingham Jail, “The nations of Asia and Africa are moving with jet like speed toward gaining political independence, but we stiff creep at horse-and-buggy pace toward gaining a cup of coffee at a lunch counter.” This quote is intertwined with the beginnings of what we think of today as diversity. Diversity is something that started out as equality. What we call diversity today sprung from the same ideology that affirmative action, women’s rights, and even black right’s came from. Today, diversity is a coveted thing, something that all workplaces, universities and governments strive for. Diversity in thought, race, stance, religion and a myriad of other things are what is sought after in the modern day. In this paper I will be attempting to give a definition of what diversity is in relation to Penn State University.

In my personal experience, diversity has been something that I have had to fight against. Being a white boy who lives in the suburbs, I am not that remarkable to what universities consider “diversity.” I am talking about diversity in the racial sense. Universities want to have more and more minorities in their schools, so they can claim that they are diverse. Also the universities like to throw around the numbers that reflect that they are, in fact, a diverse campus. The minorities that are focused on are African American, Asian American, Hispanic American, and Native American, in descending order according to the Penn State University Fact Book.

The next facet of diversity that has affected me the most is the political version of diversity. I have always been somewhat in the middle of things, a moderate, but I have always leaned slightly to the left, though most of the people in my high school leaned much farther to the left than me. However, at Penn State University I have noticed a balance of ideals. There are countless conservatives that go to this school and I believe that this is the way it should be, because without someone challenging your beliefs, how can you really be sure about them? Also, surprisingly, or maybe not, there are many Libertarians, Communists, and other splinter groups that all have some kind of representation here.

Diversity is a term exactly like truth. To define it, is to confine it, and I believe that diversity is one of those slippery words that depends on your perspective. Any of the ways we mentioned in class to define it would work, although I believe that you have to experience it. To modern day society, diversity seems to make people think of the University of Michigan. Last year, it was discovered that if you are a minority, you gain extra points in their points system that determines who is accepted into the university if you are a minority. Some people believed that this was wrong. I believe that this is affirmative action, but we won’t open that can of worms. This is only one way to define diversity.

Searching our library’s website I ran across an article about Rutgers University Library Model, according to diversity, states, “the narrow definition of diversity, i.e. race, gender, and national origin… wider range of issues reflecting a more holistic definition of diversity which included religion, sexual orientation, disabilities and most controversial for the libraries, classicism and bias in the workplace.” This seems to be searching for a wider, all encompassing definition of diversity. However, this definition seems to be the physical definition, only defining people by their preference and abilities, not how they think or reason. I believe to properly define diversity; we must include everything to be unbiased and somewhat indifferent. Diversity includes everything from politics, and appearances, all the way to backgrounds and race.

Basically, diversity can be defined many different ways. It is usually defined to what context it is found in. For instance, it could be defined by religion, in England, diversity may mean more Catholic worshippers than usual. However, in England, the main religion would still be Anglican. In this example, diversity would be anything other than more Anglican worshippers. This is because England has an influx of this specific religion because of its heritage. The United States does not have this problem because we have a wealth of many religions, even though Christian worshippers are the main worshipping group; we still have prominent groups of other religions such as Islam, Hindu, Buddhism, etc.

Overall, diversity can be defined many ways, so in order to define diversity; we must come up with a rather loose and fluid definition. Diversity can be defined as everything that sets us apart from each other; it could be anything ranging from hair color, to political allegiance. To define diversity is to confine it. However, with a definition such as this, we have a fluid and ever changing boundary. I believe that this is the only way that we can successfully define something such as diversity. With the definition of truth, it was so general as to say it’s based on one’s own perspective, which is true or false. This is the same general idea as my definition for diversity. Also, Scott McCloud, in his book Understanding Comics, he uses the same thought process to define comics in the books first chapter. This is the only way to define these fluid concepts that keeps the integrity of the word.

Singularity: English 15, Fall 2005 : HimErosDefinitionArgument

Works Cited

Works Cited