Singularity: English 15, Fall 2005 : MelissaMalskiEvaluationArgument

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Most recent edit on 2007-10-19 17:01:48 by MelissaMalski

Deletions:
Final Draft
Melissa Malski
English 15
Evaluation Argument
10/31/05
The changing leaves, hot apple cider, and pumpkin carvings are all reminders that the autumn season is among us. Each year around this time there is a long-standing tradition that Penn State carries on. As the football season winds down, and the winter clothes begin to appear, the community prepares for the annual Homecoming celebration. Penn State acknowledges Homecoming by holding a host of activities for the students as well as the community to participate in. These events culminate at the end of the week with the annual Homecoming football game. However on the eve of this time-honored game, College Avenue is transformed into an array of costumes, music, dancing, and history. This annual parade is one of those events that State College citizens look forward to seeing each year. Appreciating our strong alumni association, judging the competition for best float, and valuing our Penn State pride are all reasons why the Homecoming parade is a success.

We have all heard the expression that every student from Penn State bleeds blue and white. This expression holds true when we realize just how strong our alumni association is. “The Penn State Alumni Association is a powerful network of more than 156,142 members, and is the largest dues–paying alumni association in the country” (About Us 1). By observing the Homecoming parade for no longer than a few minutes, this deep connection becomes evident. Through university support such as teaching, research and other services the alumni association clearly has a strong impact upon our curriculum. Besides enriching our academic world, the alumni association additionally provides us with entertaining extra-curricular activities as well. Having a full-functioning marching band in the Homecoming parade consisting solely of alumni is extraordinarily impressive to say the least [this sentence appears out of place]. Penn State is lucky to have such active alumni relations extending to every corner of the globe. There was not a minute that went by during the parade that the alumni association didn’t impact. Though the actual purpose of the Homecoming parade is to prepare for the football game, it is hard to ignore the powerful alumni association Penn State possesses.
As we sit down to enjoy the fantastic floats and performances, we often overlook how much dedication and hard-work goes into creating these remarkable presentations. Each student organization is eligible for participating in the Homecoming parade. According to the Penn State Homecoming 2005 website, each float must abide by incredibly strict rules such as meet safety requirements, only use approved visual aids, and pass a tight inspection. Yet overall, the parade is a fun way for each organization to display its school spirit. Showing the most Penn State spirit can turn the parade into an aggressive competition between those serious contenders however. Though some clubs take it more seriously than others, the ones that decide to compete are noticeably distinct. For those ambitious groups, it is not uncommon to find mechanical pulleys, smoke, and unbelievable lighting all throughout their float. “This year’s 1st Place Float Competition in the Paired Competing was SWE & Sigma Nu” (Poblete 1). Though there can only be one winner, each organization must receive great recognition for their time and energy well spent to make this annual parade possible.
It’s no secret; Penn State has some of the best fans in the world. We set up “Paternovilles” every time there is a big game, get decked out in all white to support our football team, and even risk getting sprayed by mace just so we can go celebrate our victories. “The anticipation leading up to a big college football game, particularly between rivals, can drive an avid fan up the wall until kickoff. The start of the game seemingly can't come soon enough” (North 1). All of our crazy rituals and distinguished traditions are deeply rooted back to our undying Penn State Pride. Aside from our football frenzy, Penn State citizens show their pride through several other activities such as THON, Greek Life, and our Homecoming celebration. The Homecoming parade is virtually a culmination of everything we take pride in concerning our university. Out of all the ways to exhibit our Penn State Pride, the Homecoming parade seems like the perfect opportunity.
It may be argued by some Penn State students that the Homecoming parade is a waste of time, and remains the same year after year. However if these critics were to come out and spend only a few minutes at the parade, they would be able to acknowledge and appreciate every unique attribute that goes into its construction. Some may even be surprised by what they see if they come out and give the parade a chance. Making even the shortest appearance at the parade shows Penn State Pride.
“Last year THON 2005 raised a total of $4,122,483.65 for the Four Diamonds Fund” (Lazerpro 1). Outstanding events like this are what makes Penn State Pride so deeply rooted in tradition and excellence. We have much to honor and be grateful for as students of The Penn Sylvania State University. As we celebrate Homecoming each year we are reminded of these long-established and time-honored traditions that make our school so great. The Homecoming parade is an intimate way for the university and students to connect with the community and alumni. Appreciating our strong alumni association, judging the competition for best float, and valuing our Penn State pride are all reasons why the Homecoming parade was a success this year and will hopefully continue along the line of great Penn State traditions.

[Overall, this essay is reasonably well-written (besides misspelling Pennsylvania). The argument seems to lack a consistent focus, though. At some points, you seem to be evaluating why Homecoming is a success, but others feel like you are specifically talking about the alumni and students (but not how these relate to Homecoming).]
WORK CITED
"About Us." Penn State Alumni Association. Hintz Family Alumni Center. 1 Nov.
Lazerpro Digital Media Group. "What is THON?" THON. 2005. Penn State. 1 Nov.
North, Jaime. "Penn State fans ready for Ohio State ." Daily Item [Sunbury PA] 7
Oct. 2005. The Daily Item Publishing Company. 2003. 1 Nov. 2005
<http://www.dailyitem.com/archive/2005/1007/local/stories/01local.htm>.
Poblete, Mark. "Homecoming 2005 Events." Penn State Homecoming 2005. 2005. Penn
State. 1 Nov. 2005 <http://php.scripts.psu.edu/clubs/up/homecoming/2005/
events/parade/workshop.php>.
Melissa Malski
English 15
Evaluation Argument
10/31/05
The changing leaves, hot apple cider, and pumpkin carvings are all reminders that the autumn season is among us. Each year around this time there is a long-standing tradition Penn State carries on. As the football season winds down, and the winter clothes start to come out the community prepares for the annual Homecoming celebration. Penn State acknowledges Homecoming by holding a host of activities for the students and community to participate in. These events culminate at the end of the week with the annual Homecoming football game. However on the eve of this time-honored game, College Avenue is transformed into an array of costumes, music, dancing, and history. This annual parade is one of those events citizens look forward to all year. Appreciating our strong alumni association, judging the competition for best float, and valuing our Penn State pride are all reasons why the Homecoming parade is a success.
We have all heard the expression that all students from Penn State bleed blue and white. This expression holds true when we realize just how strong our alumni association is. “The Penn State Alumni Association is a powerful network of more than 156,142 members, and is the largest dues–paying alumni association in the country” (About Us). Through observing the Homecoming parade for no longer than a few minutes, this deep connection becomes evident. Through university support such as teaching, research and other services the alumni association clearly has a strong impact upon our curriculum. Besides enriching our academic world, the alumni association also provides us with entertaining extra-curricular activities as well. Having a full-functioning marching band in the parade solely consisting of alumni is unusually impressive to say the least. Penn State is lucky to have active alumni extending to every corner of the globe. There was not a minute that went by during the parade that the alumni association didn’t impact. Though the actual purpose of the Homecoming parade is to prepare for the football game, it is hard to ignore the powerful alumni association Penn State possesses.
As we sit down to enjoy the fantastic floats and performances, we often overlook how much dedication and hard-work goes into creating these presentations. Each student organization is eligible for participating in the Homecoming parade. According to the Penn State Homecoming 2005 website, each float must abide by incredibly strict rules such as safety requirements, approved visual aids, and pass a tight inspection. Yet overall, the parade is a fun way for each organization to display its school spirit. Showing the most Penn State spirit can turn the parade into an aggressive competition between those serious contenders. Though some clubs take it more seriously than others, the ones that decide to compete are noticeably distinct. For those ambitious groups, it is not uncommon to find mechanical pulleys, smoke, and unbelievable lighting all throughout their float. “This year’s 1st Place Float Competition in the Paired Competing was SWE & Sigma Nu” (Poblete). Though there can only be one winner, each organization must receive great recognition for their time and energy well spent to make this annual parade possible.
It’s no secret; Penn State has some of the best fans in the world. We set up “Paternovilles” every time there is a big game, get decked out in all white to support our football team, and even risk getting sprayed by mace just so we can go celebrate our victories. “The anticipation leading up to a big college football game, particularly between rivals, can drive an avid fan up the wall until kickoff. The start of the game seemingly can't come soon enough”(North). All of our crazy rituals and distinguished traditions are deeply rooted back to our undying Penn State Pride. Aside from our football frenzy, Penn State citizens show their pride through several other activities such as THON, Greek Life, and our Homecoming celebration. The Homecoming parade is virtually a culmination of everything we take pride in concerning our university. Out of all the ways to exhibit our Penn State Pride, the Homecoming parade seems like the perfect opportunity.
“Last year THON 2005 raised a total of $4,122,483.65 for the Four Diamonds Fund”( Lazerpro). Outstanding events like this are what makes Penn State Pride so deeply rooted in tradition and excellence. We have much to honor and be grateful for as students of The Penn Sylvania State University. As we celebrate Homecoming each year we are reminded of these long-established and time-honored traditions that make our school so great. The Homecoming parade is an intimate way for the university and students to connect with the community and alumni. Appreciating our strong alumni association, judging the competition for best float, and valuing our Penn State pride are all reasons why the Homecoming parade was a success this year and will hopefully continue along the line of great Penn State traditions.

WORK CITED
"About Us." Penn State Alumni Association. Hintz Family Alumni Center. 1 Nov.
Lazerpro Digital Media Group. "What is THON?" THON. 2005. Penn State. 1 Nov.
North, Jaime. "Penn State fans ready for Ohio State ." Daily Item [Sunbury PA] 7
Oct. 2005. The Daily Item Publishing Company. 2003. 1 Nov. 2005
<http://www.dailyitem.com/archive/2005/1007/local/stories/01local.htm>.
Poblete, Mark. "Homecoming 2005 Events." Penn State Homecoming 2005. 2005. Penn
State. 1 Nov. 2005 <http://php.scripts.psu.edu/clubs/up/homecoming/2005/
events/parade/workshop.php>.



Edited on 2005-11-13 00:26:07 by EschaTon

Additions:
We have all heard the expression that every student from Penn State bleeds blue and white. This expression holds true when we realize just how strong our alumni association is. “The Penn State Alumni Association is a powerful network of more than 156,142 members, and is the largest dues–paying alumni association in the country” (About Us 1). By observing the Homecoming parade for no longer than a few minutes, this deep connection becomes evident. Through university support such as teaching, research and other services the alumni association clearly has a strong impact upon our curriculum. Besides enriching our academic world, the alumni association additionally provides us with entertaining extra-curricular activities as well. Having a full-functioning marching band in the Homecoming parade consisting solely of alumni is extraordinarily impressive to say the least [this sentence appears out of place]. Penn State is lucky to have such active alumni relations extending to every corner of the globe. There was not a minute that went by during the parade that the alumni association didn’t impact. Though the actual purpose of the Homecoming parade is to prepare for the football game, it is hard to ignore the powerful alumni association Penn State possesses.
[Overall, this essay is reasonably well-written (besides misspelling Pennsylvania). The argument seems to lack a consistent focus, though. At some points, you seem to be evaluating why Homecoming is a success, but others feel like you are specifically talking about the alumni and students (but not how these relate to Homecoming).]


Deletions:
We have all heard the expression that every student from Penn State bleeds blue and white. This expression holds true when we realize just how strong our alumni association is. “The Penn State Alumni Association is a powerful network of more than 156,142 members, and is the largest dues–paying alumni association in the country” (About Us 1). By observing the Homecoming parade for no longer than a few minutes, this deep connection becomes evident. Through university support such as teaching, research and other services the alumni association clearly has a strong impact upon our curriculum. Besides enriching our academic world, the alumni association additionally provides us with entertaining extra-curricular activities as well. Having a full-functioning marching band in the Homecoming parade consisting solely of alumni is extraordinarily impressive to say the least. Penn State is lucky to have such active alumni relations extending to every corner of the globe. There was not a minute that went by during the parade that the alumni association didn’t impact. Though the actual purpose of the Homecoming parade is to prepare for the football game, it is hard to ignore the powerful alumni association Penn State possesses.



Edited on 2005-11-04 09:38:00 by MelissaMalski

Additions:
Final Draft
The changing leaves, hot apple cider, and pumpkin carvings are all reminders that the autumn season is among us. Each year around this time there is a long-standing tradition that Penn State carries on. As the football season winds down, and the winter clothes begin to appear, the community prepares for the annual Homecoming celebration. Penn State acknowledges Homecoming by holding a host of activities for the students as well as the community to participate in. These events culminate at the end of the week with the annual Homecoming football game. However on the eve of this time-honored game, College Avenue is transformed into an array of costumes, music, dancing, and history. This annual parade is one of those events that State College citizens look forward to seeing each year. Appreciating our strong alumni association, judging the competition for best float, and valuing our Penn State pride are all reasons why the Homecoming parade is a success.

We have all heard the expression that every student from Penn State bleeds blue and white. This expression holds true when we realize just how strong our alumni association is. “The Penn State Alumni Association is a powerful network of more than 156,142 members, and is the largest dues–paying alumni association in the country” (About Us 1). By observing the Homecoming parade for no longer than a few minutes, this deep connection becomes evident. Through university support such as teaching, research and other services the alumni association clearly has a strong impact upon our curriculum. Besides enriching our academic world, the alumni association additionally provides us with entertaining extra-curricular activities as well. Having a full-functioning marching band in the Homecoming parade consisting solely of alumni is extraordinarily impressive to say the least. Penn State is lucky to have such active alumni relations extending to every corner of the globe. There was not a minute that went by during the parade that the alumni association didn’t impact. Though the actual purpose of the Homecoming parade is to prepare for the football game, it is hard to ignore the powerful alumni association Penn State possesses.
As we sit down to enjoy the fantastic floats and performances, we often overlook how much dedication and hard-work goes into creating these remarkable presentations. Each student organization is eligible for participating in the Homecoming parade. According to the Penn State Homecoming 2005 website, each float must abide by incredibly strict rules such as meet safety requirements, only use approved visual aids, and pass a tight inspection. Yet overall, the parade is a fun way for each organization to display its school spirit. Showing the most Penn State spirit can turn the parade into an aggressive competition between those serious contenders however. Though some clubs take it more seriously than others, the ones that decide to compete are noticeably distinct. For those ambitious groups, it is not uncommon to find mechanical pulleys, smoke, and unbelievable lighting all throughout their float. “This year’s 1st Place Float Competition in the Paired Competing was SWE & Sigma Nu” (Poblete 1). Though there can only be one winner, each organization must receive great recognition for their time and energy well spent to make this annual parade possible.
It’s no secret; Penn State has some of the best fans in the world. We set up “Paternovilles” every time there is a big game, get decked out in all white to support our football team, and even risk getting sprayed by mace just so we can go celebrate our victories. “The anticipation leading up to a big college football game, particularly between rivals, can drive an avid fan up the wall until kickoff. The start of the game seemingly can't come soon enough” (North 1). All of our crazy rituals and distinguished traditions are deeply rooted back to our undying Penn State Pride. Aside from our football frenzy, Penn State citizens show their pride through several other activities such as THON, Greek Life, and our Homecoming celebration. The Homecoming parade is virtually a culmination of everything we take pride in concerning our university. Out of all the ways to exhibit our Penn State Pride, the Homecoming parade seems like the perfect opportunity.
It may be argued by some Penn State students that the Homecoming parade is a waste of time, and remains the same year after year. However if these critics were to come out and spend only a few minutes at the parade, they would be able to acknowledge and appreciate every unique attribute that goes into its construction. Some may even be surprised by what they see if they come out and give the parade a chance. Making even the shortest appearance at the parade shows Penn State Pride.
“Last year THON 2005 raised a total of $4,122,483.65 for the Four Diamonds Fund” (Lazerpro 1). Outstanding events like this are what makes Penn State Pride so deeply rooted in tradition and excellence. We have much to honor and be grateful for as students of The Penn Sylvania State University. As we celebrate Homecoming each year we are reminded of these long-established and time-honored traditions that make our school so great. The Homecoming parade is an intimate way for the university and students to connect with the community and alumni. Appreciating our strong alumni association, judging the competition for best float, and valuing our Penn State pride are all reasons why the Homecoming parade was a success this year and will hopefully continue along the line of great Penn State traditions.



Edited on 2005-11-01 22:34:55 by MelissaMalski

No differences.


Oldest known version of this page was edited on 2005-11-01 22:34:27 by MelissaMalski []
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Melissa Malski
English 15
Evaluation Argument
10/31/05

The changing leaves, hot apple cider, and pumpkin carvings are all reminders that the autumn season is among us. Each year around this time there is a long-standing tradition Penn State carries on. As the football season winds down, and the winter clothes start to come out the community prepares for the annual Homecoming celebration. Penn State acknowledges Homecoming by holding a host of activities for the students and community to participate in. These events culminate at the end of the week with the annual Homecoming football game. However on the eve of this time-honored game, College Avenue is transformed into an array of costumes, music, dancing, and history. This annual parade is one of those events citizens look forward to all year. Appreciating our strong alumni association, judging the competition for best float, and valuing our Penn State pride are all reasons why the Homecoming parade is a success.
We have all heard the expression that all students from Penn State bleed blue and white. This expression holds true when we realize just how strong our alumni association is. “The Penn State Alumni Association is a powerful network of more than 156,142 members, and is the largest dues–paying alumni association in the country” (About Us). Through observing the Homecoming parade for no longer than a few minutes, this deep connection becomes evident. Through university support such as teaching, research and other services the alumni association clearly has a strong impact upon our curriculum. Besides enriching our academic world, the alumni association also provides us with entertaining extra-curricular activities as well. Having a full-functioning marching band in the parade solely consisting of alumni is unusually impressive to say the least. Penn State is lucky to have active alumni extending to every corner of the globe. There was not a minute that went by during the parade that the alumni association didn’t impact. Though the actual purpose of the Homecoming parade is to prepare for the football game, it is hard to ignore the powerful alumni association Penn State possesses.
As we sit down to enjoy the fantastic floats and performances, we often overlook how much dedication and hard-work goes into creating these presentations. Each student organization is eligible for participating in the Homecoming parade. According to the Penn State Homecoming 2005 website, each float must abide by incredibly strict rules such as safety requirements, approved visual aids, and pass a tight inspection. Yet overall, the parade is a fun way for each organization to display its school spirit. Showing the most Penn State spirit can turn the parade into an aggressive competition between those serious contenders. Though some clubs take it more seriously than others, the ones that decide to compete are noticeably distinct. For those ambitious groups, it is not uncommon to find mechanical pulleys, smoke, and unbelievable lighting all throughout their float. “This year’s 1st Place Float Competition in the Paired Competing was SWE & Sigma Nu” (Poblete). Though there can only be one winner, each organization must receive great recognition for their time and energy well spent to make this annual parade possible.
It’s no secret; Penn State has some of the best fans in the world. We set up “Paternovilles” every time there is a big game, get decked out in all white to support our football team, and even risk getting sprayed by mace just so we can go celebrate our victories. “The anticipation leading up to a big college football game, particularly between rivals, can drive an avid fan up the wall until kickoff. The start of the game seemingly can't come soon enough”(North). All of our crazy rituals and distinguished traditions are deeply rooted back to our undying Penn State Pride. Aside from our football frenzy, Penn State citizens show their pride through several other activities such as THON, Greek Life, and our Homecoming celebration. The Homecoming parade is virtually a culmination of everything we take pride in concerning our university. Out of all the ways to exhibit our Penn State Pride, the Homecoming parade seems like the perfect opportunity.
“Last year THON 2005 raised a total of $4,122,483.65 for the Four Diamonds Fund”( Lazerpro). Outstanding events like this are what makes Penn State Pride so deeply rooted in tradition and excellence. We have much to honor and be grateful for as students of The Penn Sylvania State University. As we celebrate Homecoming each year we are reminded of these long-established and time-honored traditions that make our school so great. The Homecoming parade is an intimate way for the university and students to connect with the community and alumni. Appreciating our strong alumni association, judging the competition for best float, and valuing our Penn State pride are all reasons why the Homecoming parade was a success this year and will hopefully continue along the line of great Penn State traditions.

WORK CITED

"About Us." Penn State Alumni Association. Hintz Family Alumni Center. 1 Nov.

Lazerpro Digital Media Group. "What is THON?" THON. 2005. Penn State. 1 Nov.

North, Jaime. "Penn State fans ready for Ohio State ." Daily Item [Sunbury PA] 7
Oct. 2005. The Daily Item Publishing Company. 2003. 1 Nov. 2005
<http://www.dailyitem.com/archive/2005/1007/local/stories/01local.htm>.

Poblete, Mark. "Homecoming 2005 Events." Penn State Homecoming 2005. 2005. Penn
State. 1 Nov. 2005 <http://php.scripts.psu.edu/clubs/up/homecoming/2005/
events/parade/workshop.php>.
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