Most recent edit on 2005-10-16 00:26:21 by EschaTon
Additions:
Certain tragedies often have certain similarities. These similarities can bring two seemingly different events together and expose how much alike they really are. Such tragedies affecting our country are occurring simultaneously with many of the same wrongdoings, mistakes, and events. The War in Iraq is like the Hurricane Katrina disaster because of all of the similarities occurring in these events [is an example of such similarities].
First of all, the most obvious similarity between the War in Iraq and Hurricane Katrina is that both disasters caused the loss of thousands of lives. Although both events had a series of precursors leading up to the actual event, the deaths that occurred due to these events were very random. The people unable to evacuate New Orleans were now in a kind of war zone because the enemy, also known as Katrina, would be striking and taking lives with it as it hit the area [This sentence fails to say anything meaningful. I understand your point, but it doesn't move from the previous sentence and doesn't really form a complete thought]. The meteorologists predicted when the hurricane would hit; much like the information gathered by [military] intelligence shows when the opposing military unit will attack [this is how Katrina is like a war, not like Iraq]. These attacks ultimately lead to random and unplanned deaths. These deaths are random due to the fact that when the Iraqi insurgents, like the hurricane, attack, they try to wipe out everything in their path [much better point]. Even after the initial attack is over, there is always the chance that additional lives will be lost; so, even though people made it through the initial attack of the hurricane, they still had to survive in the Superdome for a period of time without the necessary life-sustaining supplies.
Likewise, both events ended up being huge disasters due to the carelessness of President Bush and his administration; [T]he Department of Homeland Security being [was] a major player in the being careless category [factor in both cases]. After the invention of the Department of Homeland Security, FEMA became a government agency, which makes the lack of organization in taking care of the problem in New Orleans the Bush administration’s fault. Many people died in New Orleans while waiting to be rescued from the damage. This damage not only consists of the wreckage caused by Katrina, but also the lack of food and supplies necessary to sustain a human life, which should have been immediately provided by a government agency such as FEMA. Many people in Iraq are dying when they should be rescued because President Bush and the Department of Homeland Security feel it is necessary to keep American soldiers in Iraq. Keeping our soldiers in Iraq is so similar to our government leaving people stranded in New Orleans when it could have done so much more to evacuate them. [This point is kind of weak. Could have mentioned the lack of supplies to troops in Iraq, etc.]
Finally, both disasters caused lasting [economic] effects on our country. Economic effects caused by these events are such things as an increase in price of everything. The increase in price of items bought by consumers is caused by the increase in price of oil. Both events caused an increase in price and demand of this crucial cog in our economic machine. The War in Iraq caused the demand and price of oil to rise because our military is consuming massive quantities [of] oil, and the Iraqi government had burned massive quantities of oil in their oil fields; whereas [Similarly,] Hurricane Katrina caused an increase in price because it caused several oil refineries to shut down. Although both events caused lasting effects on our country, they are somewhat different in nature. The War in Iraq caused Americans to be seen by some in the world as even greedier than before because of Bush’s agenda, and many families were also affected. Katrina’s effects caused our country to seem weak and unprepared, and like the War in Iraq, [In both cases,] many families were also affected. Both events brought on positive changes as well. They brought our country together to provide aid to people that have been affected by these events, such as donating money to people affected by Katrina or sending care packages to our troops overseas.
Thus, Hurricane Katrina and the War in Iraq, both have similar features in the way that they are disasters. Both are disasters in ways such as the Bush administration’s blunders, the deaths that occurred, and the effects produced by the events. [This conclusion is barely present and weak. What do you want us to learn from this comparison? What was the point of this paper?]
[Overall, this paper was reasonable, but not great. It lacked organization within the paragraphs, a general sense of cohesion, and a lack of proofreading. The conclusion was also awful.]
Deletions:
Certain tragedies often have certain similarities. These similarities can bring two seemingly different events together and expose how much alike they really are. Such tragedies affecting our country are occurring simultaneously with many of the same wrongdoings, mistakes, and events. The War in Iraq is like the Hurricane Katrina disaster because of all of the similarities occurring in these events.
First of all, the most obvious similarity between the War in Iraq and Hurricane Katrina is that both disasters caused the loss of thousands of lives. Although both events had a series of precursors leading up to the actual event, the deaths that occurred due to these events were very random. The people unable to evacuate New Orleans were now in a kind of war zone because the enemy, also known as Katrina, would be striking and taking lives with it as it hit the area. The meteorologists predicted when the hurricane would hit; much like the information gathered by intelligence shows when the opposing military unit will attack. These attacks ultimately lead to random and unplanned deaths. These deaths are random due to the fact that when the Iraqi insurgents, like the hurricane, attack, they try to wipe out everything in their path. Even after the initial attack is over, there is always the chance that additional lives will be lost; so, even though people made it through the initial attack of the hurricane, they still had to survive in the Superdome for a period of time without the necessary life-sustaining supplies.
Likewise, both events ended up being huge disasters due to the carelessness of President Bush and his administration; the Department of Homeland Security being a major player in the being careless category. After the invention of the Department of Homeland Security, FEMA became a government agency, which makes the lack of organization in taking care of the problem in New Orleans the Bush administration’s fault. Many people died in New Orleans while waiting to be rescued from the damage. This damage not only consists of the wreckage caused by Katrina, but also the lack of food and supplies necessary to sustain a human life, which should have been immediately provided by a government agency such as FEMA. Many people in Iraq are dying when they should be rescued because President Bush and the Department of Homeland Security feel it is necessary to keep American soldiers in Iraq. Keeping our soldiers in Iraq is so similar to our government leaving people stranded in New Orleans when it could have done so much more to evacuate them.
Finally, both disasters caused lasting effects on our country. Economic effects caused by these events are such things as an increase in price of everything. The increase in price of items bought by consumers is caused by the increase in price of oil. Both events caused an increase in price and demand of this crucial cog in our economic machine. The War in Iraq caused the demand and price of oil to rise because our military is consuming massive quantities oil, and the Iraqi government had burned massive quantities of oil in their oil fields; whereas Hurricane Katrina caused an increase in price because it caused several oil refineries to shut down. Although both events caused lasting effects on our country, they are somewhat different in nature. The War in Iraq caused Americans to be seen by some in the world as even greedier than before because of Bush’s agenda, and many families were also affected. Katrina’s effects caused our country to seem weak and unprepared, and like the War in Iraq, many families were also affected. Both events brought on positive changes as well. They brought our country together to provide aid to people that have been affected by these events, such as donating money to people affected by Katrina or sending care packages to our troops overseas.
Thus, Hurricane Katrina and the War in Iraq, both have similar features in the way that they are disasters. Both are disasters in ways such as the Bush administration’s blunders, the deaths that occurred, and the effects produced by the events.
Edited on 2005-10-06 19:07:27 by MenosElOso
Additions:
Certain tragedies often have certain similarities. These similarities can bring two seemingly different events together and expose how much alike they really are. Such tragedies affecting our country are occurring simultaneously with many of the same wrongdoings, mistakes, and events. The War in Iraq is like the Hurricane Katrina disaster because of all of the similarities occurring in these events.
First of all, the most obvious similarity between the War in Iraq and Hurricane Katrina is that both disasters caused the loss of thousands of lives. Although both events had a series of precursors leading up to the actual event, the deaths that occurred due to these events were very random. The people unable to evacuate New Orleans were now in a kind of war zone because the enemy, also known as Katrina, would be striking and taking lives with it as it hit the area. The meteorologists predicted when the hurricane would hit; much like the information gathered by intelligence shows when the opposing military unit will attack. These attacks ultimately lead to random and unplanned deaths. These deaths are random due to the fact that when the Iraqi insurgents, like the hurricane, attack, they try to wipe out everything in their path. Even after the initial attack is over, there is always the chance that additional lives will be lost; so, even though people made it through the initial attack of the hurricane, they still had to survive in the Superdome for a period of time without the necessary life-sustaining supplies.
Likewise, both events ended up being huge disasters due to the carelessness of President Bush and his administration; the Department of Homeland Security being a major player in the being careless category. After the invention of the Department of Homeland Security, FEMA became a government agency, which makes the lack of organization in taking care of the problem in New Orleans the Bush administration’s fault. Many people died in New Orleans while waiting to be rescued from the damage. This damage not only consists of the wreckage caused by Katrina, but also the lack of food and supplies necessary to sustain a human life, which should have been immediately provided by a government agency such as FEMA. Many people in Iraq are dying when they should be rescued because President Bush and the Department of Homeland Security feel it is necessary to keep American soldiers in Iraq. Keeping our soldiers in Iraq is so similar to our government leaving people stranded in New Orleans when it could have done so much more to evacuate them.
Finally, both disasters caused lasting effects on our country. Economic effects caused by these events are such things as an increase in price of everything. The increase in price of items bought by consumers is caused by the increase in price of oil. Both events caused an increase in price and demand of this crucial cog in our economic machine. The War in Iraq caused the demand and price of oil to rise because our military is consuming massive quantities oil, and the Iraqi government had burned massive quantities of oil in their oil fields; whereas Hurricane Katrina caused an increase in price because it caused several oil refineries to shut down. Although both events caused lasting effects on our country, they are somewhat different in nature. The War in Iraq caused Americans to be seen by some in the world as even greedier than before because of Bush’s agenda, and many families were also affected. Katrina’s effects caused our country to seem weak and unprepared, and like the War in Iraq, many families were also affected. Both events brought on positive changes as well. They brought our country together to provide aid to people that have been affected by these events, such as donating money to people affected by Katrina or sending care packages to our troops overseas.
Thus, Hurricane Katrina and the War in Iraq, both have similar features in the way that they are disasters. Both are disasters in ways such as the Bush administration’s blunders, the deaths that occurred, and the effects produced by the events.
Deletions:
Certain tragedies often have certain similarities. Such tragedies affecting our country are occurring simultaneously with many of the same wrongdoings, mistakes, and events. The War in Iraq is like the Hurricane Katrina disaster because of all of the similarities occurring in these events.
First of all, the most obvious similarity between the War in Iraq and Hurricane Katrina is that both disasters caused the loss of thousands of lives. Although both events had a series of precursors leading up to the actual event, the deaths that occurred due to these events were very random. The people unable to evacuate New Orleans were now in a kind of war zone because the enemy, also known as Katrina, would be striking and taking away lives as it hit the area. The meteorologists predicted when the hurricane would hit; much like the information gathered by intelligence shows when the opposing military unit will attack. These attacks ultimately lead to random and unplanned deaths. These deaths are random due to the fact that when the Iraqi insurgents, like the hurricane, attack, they try to wipe out everything in their path. Even after the initial attack is over, there is always the chance that additional lives will be lost; so, even though people made it through the initial attack of the hurricane, they still had to survive in the Superdome for a period of time without the necessary life-sustaining supplies.
Likewise, both events ended up being huge disasters due to the carelessness of President Bush and his administration—especially in the Department of Homeland Security. After the invention of the Department of Homeland Security, FEMA became a government agency, which makes the lack of organization in taking care of the problem in New Orleans President the Bush administration’s fault. Many people died in New Orleans while waiting to be rescued from the damage. This damage not only consists of the wreckage caused by Katrina, but also the lack of food and supplies, which should have been immediately provided by a government agency such as FEMA, necessary to sustain a human life. Many people in Iraq are dying when they should be removed, or rescued, because President Bush and the Department of Homeland Security feel it is necessary to keep American soldiers in Iraq. Keeping our soldiers in Iraq is so similar to the fact that our government stranded people in New Orleans when it could have done so much more to evacuate them.
Finally, both disasters caused lasting effects on our country. Economic effects caused by these events are such things as an increase in price of everything. The increase in price of items bought by consumers is caused by the increase in price of oil. Both events caused an increase in price and demand of this crucial cog. The War in Iraq caused the demand and price of oil to rise because our military is consuming massive quantities of our oil supply, and the Iraqi government had burned massive quantities of oil in their oil fields; whereas Hurricane Katrina caused an increase in price because it caused several oil refineries to shut down. Although both events caused lasting effects on our country, they are somewhat different in nature. The War in Iraq caused Americans to be seen by some in the world as even greedier than before because of Bush’s agenda, and many families were also affected. Katrina’s effects caused our country to seem weak and unprepared, and likewise to the War in Iraq, many families were also affected.
Thus, Hurricane Katrina and the War in Iraq, both have similar features in the way that they are disasters such as Bush’s blunders, the deaths that occurred, and the effects produced by the events.
Oldest known version of this page was edited on 2005-10-04 22:08:11 by MenosElOso []
Page view:
Certain tragedies often have certain similarities. Such tragedies affecting our country are occurring simultaneously with many of the same wrongdoings, mistakes, and events. The War in Iraq is like the Hurricane Katrina disaster because of all of the similarities occurring in these events.
First of all, the most obvious similarity between the War in Iraq and Hurricane Katrina is that both disasters caused the loss of thousands of lives. Although both events had a series of precursors leading up to the actual event, the deaths that occurred due to these events were very random. The people unable to evacuate New Orleans were now in a kind of war zone because the enemy, also known as Katrina, would be striking and taking away lives as it hit the area. The meteorologists predicted when the hurricane would hit; much like the information gathered by intelligence shows when the opposing military unit will attack. These attacks ultimately lead to random and unplanned deaths. These deaths are random due to the fact that when the Iraqi insurgents, like the hurricane, attack, they try to wipe out everything in their path. Even after the initial attack is over, there is always the chance that additional lives will be lost; so, even though people made it through the initial attack of the hurricane, they still had to survive in the Superdome for a period of time without the necessary life-sustaining supplies.
Likewise, both events ended up being huge disasters due to the carelessness of President Bush and his administration—especially in the Department of Homeland Security. After the invention of the Department of Homeland Security, FEMA became a government agency, which makes the lack of organization in taking care of the problem in New Orleans President the Bush administration’s fault. Many people died in New Orleans while waiting to be rescued from the damage. This damage not only consists of the wreckage caused by Katrina, but also the lack of food and supplies, which should have been immediately provided by a government agency such as FEMA, necessary to sustain a human life. Many people in Iraq are dying when they should be removed, or rescued, because President Bush and the Department of Homeland Security feel it is necessary to keep American soldiers in Iraq. Keeping our soldiers in Iraq is so similar to the fact that our government stranded people in New Orleans when it could have done so much more to evacuate them.
Finally, both disasters caused lasting effects on our country. Economic effects caused by these events are such things as an increase in price of everything. The increase in price of items bought by consumers is caused by the increase in price of oil. Both events caused an increase in price and demand of this crucial cog. The War in Iraq caused the demand and price of oil to rise because our military is consuming massive quantities of our oil supply, and the Iraqi government had burned massive quantities of oil in their oil fields; whereas Hurricane Katrina caused an increase in price because it caused several oil refineries to shut down. Although both events caused lasting effects on our country, they are somewhat different in nature. The War in Iraq caused Americans to be seen by some in the world as even greedier than before because of Bush’s agenda, and many families were also affected. Katrina’s effects caused our country to seem weak and unprepared, and likewise to the War in Iraq, many families were also affected.
Thus, Hurricane Katrina and the War in Iraq, both have similar features in the way that they are disasters such as Bush’s blunders, the deaths that occurred, and the effects produced by the events.