Final Copy

Baking a cake is a complex process from start to finish. From gathering the preliminary ingredients to removing it from the oven, everything must go correctly and smoothly in order to turn out the best possible product. Baking a cake can certainly be compared to the preparation of a sports team. On a team, individuals are chosen, trained, practiced, and played until they are able to mold into a group and win a game. The process of baking a cake is like forming a group of individuals into a winning team [you've just said this almost word-for word].

There are many things to consider when baking a cake: what ingredients to put in, how much to put in, and how long to bake it for? And [Similarly,] when it comes to forming a successful team, the same things are considered in their own way. Who will make the team in order to achieve the best success,[? H]ow many people are needed,[? H]ow long will the team need to train,[? W]hen will the team know that they are truly ready? The thinking behind preparing both of these are similar due to the fact that they are preparing for what is ahead, striving for a final result. [good]

Once preparation is over, it is now time to put the cake into the oven to bake. When a cake is baking, all of the ingredients are coming together in order to become a whole. The cake is being molded into something that will be enjoyed by many, just like a team. Individuals become a team when they are practicing. The team, at this stage, is striving towards unity. When the team is finally ready, the individual players come together much like a cake does while baking in the oven, and they are able to work towards achieving their desired end result.

Finally, the cake is done and it is time for the finished product. After all of the preparing and baking, the batter is fully cooked and the cake is ready to face judgment. This is just like a team right after they finish their practicing and are ready to play a game. Of course there are times when a cake may come out raw or burnt, and a team may be unprepared, but these problems are necessary in order for improvement to be made. People get the chance to see if this team is ready to take on anyone and win as a whole. The team may not be ready, just like the cake, but both can be fixed with practice and adjustment.

A cake and a team are two things that would never ordinarily go together, so why would one attempt to compare an inanimate object to group of people? The reason is, from preparation to the finished product, they all go through the same process. Of course an ingredient cannot do anything when it is just by itself, flour will not make anything productive on its own, but if added to other counterparts it will make a wonderful end result. This is similar to a team, where one person cannot control the outcome of the game. “There is no I in team”, and one knows that when playing a sport, a single person cannot win a football, soccer, or any sport strictly on their own. Therefore, when it comes to the process of preparing a team for a win, it is almost the same as baking a cake.

[Very nice. The first paragraph was a little shakey, but, overall, excellent work.]

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Rough Copy

Baking a cake is a very interesting process in its own right. From beginning to end, one is trying to perfect it and understand how to make it better. Just like sports, teams in general; people are always being picked, practicing, and trying to win to have the finished result for which they are looking for. The process of baking a cake and the end result is like putting a team together and achieving a common result: working as one and achieving a win.

There are many things to consider when baking a cake: what ingredients to put in, how much to put in, how long to bake it for, and how long will it take to be ready? When it comes to having a team of any kind, the same things are considered in their own way. Who will make the team in order to achieve the best success, how many people are needed, how long will the team need to train, and when will the team know that they are truly ready. The thinking behind preparing both of these are similar due to the fact that they are getting ready for what is ahead, and preparing for the final result.

Once preparation is over, it is now time to put the cake into the oven to bake. When a cake is baking, all the ingredients are coming together in order to become whole. The cake is being molded into something that will be enjoyed by many, just like a team. A team is becoming one when they are practicing. The team, at this stage, is trying to get ideas together in order to function in a way that will make them united. When the team is finally ready, they come together much like a cake does while baking in the oven, and are able to work towards achieving their desired end result.

Finally, the cake is done and it is time to see the finished product. After all the preparing, baking, consideration of the right ingredients and the batter is fully cooked, this cake is ready to face judgment. Of course, there are times when a cake may come out not fully baked or burnt, but with each, problems will exist where they need to be fixed. This is just like a team right after they finish their preparations and are finished with practices; it is time to see the final product. People get the chance to see if this team is ready to take on anyone and win as a whole. The team may also not be ready, just like a cake at time, but can be fixed with practice and adjusting of positions.

A cake and a team seem like a pair that would never go together so why would I compare an inanimate object to actual people? The reason is, from preparation to baking to the finished product, they all go through the same process. Of course, an ingredient cannot do anything when it is just by itself. Flour will not make anything productive on its own. This is similar to a team where one person cannot decide an outcome of a game. There is no I in team and one knows that when playing a sport, one person cannot win a football, soccer, or any team related sport on their own. Therefore, when it comes to the process of getting a team and winning, it is almost the same process as baking a cake.