September 11, 2005 Remix Narrative of IslandGirlNarrative

“Toothbrush, socks, pajamas…what else do I need?” I said aloud as I packed everything into my one small bag. I feel as if I am taking nothing, but am content with the thought that I will also be carrying nothing. What if I miss my flight? What will I do if I don’t like the school I am working for? These were all the questions that popped into my head when I thought of where I would be going the next day. In 24 hours from now I will find myself in my room at my new school in central China unpacking all of these things that I have meticulously placed inside of my small suitcase. Stuffing the last items into their resting places for the trip, I lay my head down on my pillow, close my eyes and think about where I will be and how I got there.

I have been so excited waiting for this time to come. I couldn’t put off my second travel decision any longer and now I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The world is so huge and diverse and at times, I’m sure, I will feel completely out of my element. Is it possible that I made the wrong decision? I could be going anywhere else so why China? I had so many other choices like Austria and Germany, but I guess something just pulled me towards Asia.

Looking back China provides a completely opposite environment than the one I am accustomed to. About ten years back, I find myself in a normal elementary school surrounded by 27 or so classmates. Scanning the room I find that everyone is a lot like me, just normal kids with normal families. There was never anything out of the ordinary. A few years later, I am in a public high school in which my class consists of close to 500 students. Looking down the hallway, I see several cliques that stand out. You have the jocks, the book smarts, the punks, and the people in the band, the division is quite evident by the way people dress and act.

Reflecting back maybe China is a good choice. Breaking away from the “Average All American” environment may be a good idea. I need a country that will turn my world and perspective of it completely upside down. Feeling better about my decision maybe sleep will come easier tonight, the last one I will spend here for a long time…

“Beep, beep, beep!” the alarm has gone off. It is four o’ clock in the morning, time to grab my bag and head off to the airport. I feel refreshed and ready to begin the next phase of my life. Change, here I come.

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September 3, 2005 Self Narrative: Facets of Personality

So there I was running down the Yangtze River bank in central China[,] watching my boat sail away down the river[,] out of my life forever[,] and leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. Let’s take a step back and see how my adventurous self got there in the first place. I decided to move to China shortly after I left Ireland[,] because I decided that I wanted a completely different travel experience. So I moved there. I loved it, had a great time[,] and was thrilled that everything was so crazy all the time.

I had decided that I would try and see everything that I could while I was there. One thing on my list was a trip down the Yangtze River while it was still a river because in the near future the Chinese will flood it and turn it into a gigantic lake for hydroelectricity. So I booked a bed on a small boat that was taking a five day trip down it[,] stopping at several places along the way. During these stops you could get off the boat and wander around. Here is where most trouble occurred[.] because [M]y Chinese was limited and I didn’t always completely understand when I was supposed to be back. So at one stop I got there just in time to watch my boat leave. My first thought was to try and catch it, so I did the only thing I could think of and that was to run and shout down the river bank.

Well that proved to be a useless idea[,] and my first thought was that I should probably panic. However the laid back part of me said “nothing you can do, roll with the punches and something always comes up” so instead I went back up the river a bit to where I was originally, bought lunch and tried to socialize with people near me[.] and I would think of something to do after lunch.

Well it turned out that after waiting a while[,] the boat came back[.] and as I found out later the Captain had an errand to run further up the river and had always intended to come back. What made matters worse was that when the captain saw me he started to laugh and tell the story of the foreign girl that he saw running down the river like a maniac. We all had a good laugh about it.

[This makes excellent use of detail and tells a good story, but you have a tendency to write run-on sentences and forget commas]

September 8, 2005 Remix Narrative

I am a young man who likes to sleep. However I picked the wrong day to sleep in because today was the day that I would begin my travels, starting with Greece. I ran down to the dock thinking that I was very late and must have missed my boat. I was relieved to find that it was still there and was about to finish loading. There were several ramps and I chose the one with the least amount of people around it as I was in a hurry to board.

Once I had run up the ramp, instead of being aboard one of the passenger decks I instead found myself in a small hallway. It must have been one of the service entrances because I eventually came upon a room full of waiters that were busying themselves with getting ready. I was approached by one and asked if I was to start work today. I told him no and said that I was lost and looking for the passenger decks. He escorted me to the elevator that would take me up to the proper levels.

I didn’t have much money so I immediately went to the lowest deck. There were several people with suit cases getting into their chosen cabins. I picked one that was still empty and did the only thing I could do until they came around to collect the money for the tickets, I had a nap. I was rudely awaken however by four loud men that had come into the cabin claiming that it was reserved for them. I was confused because I knew that on such short trips they don’t reserve cabins but I left anyway because I didn’t want to start trouble.

I soon found an employee of the boat and asked where the unreserved cabins were. He looked at me and said “Sir, we do not have unreserved cabins on such long trips, where are you supposed to be?” I told him that I was going to Greece and did not have a reserved cabin because I was going to pay for my ticket on the boat. He informed me that this boat, which had already left dock, was not going to Greece but was in fact going to America. He then escorted me to the security office on the captain’s deck and explained the problem.

Despite everything I was actually very excited about my imminent immigration to the U.S.A. I was wondering if the American’s liked Italians and also was wondering if they were going to let me in. I didn’t have enough money to pay for the ticket and was told that I could work in the kitchen. I was escorted once again to the service hall and given a uniform. It was here that I was introduced to my future supervisor who said, “I thought you weren’t starting work today?”