This year's Penn State football team has surprised everyone. After several disappointing years, the Lions have proved to everyone that we [they] are back. Last week's big win over Ohio State left many people talking about the possibility of an undefeated season. These hopes went down the drain with this past weekend's loss to Michigan. Penn State[']s loss this past weekend was due to the 2 seconds added to the clock, poor spotting of the ball, and the Lions' inability to convert on drives early in the game.


Another reason why Penn State was unsuccessful against Michigan was because of the poor ball spotting by the referees. Over and over again it seemed like Penn State was receiving less than generous spots. The opposite was true for the Wolverines. Especially on several key plays in the third quarter, referees spotted the ball largely in Michigan's favor. There were several third downs where the Wolverines appeared to come up short of the first down; however, they still got the first down solely by favorable spotting. This truly gave the Wolverines a large advantage, especially towards the end of the game, by allowing them to continue their drives, and score points. [And this is indicative of what? Why is this important? Does it indicate bias on the part of the referrees?]

While the referees can be blamed for some of the loss, the Lions deserve some of the blame for the loss as well [this is a badly structured sentence]. Despite playing an amazing first quarter and consistently driving down the field, the Lions were unable to convert their opportunities in the first half. The Penn State offense was given several opportunities to put points on the board early in the game. We drove down the field at an impressive rate, converting consistently on third and even fourth downs. However, despite impressive drives, we were unable score any points. Missed field goals and key turnovers kept the Lions from scoring any points in the first half of the game. Penn State trailed 3-0 at the end of the first quarter. Penn State's inability to convert on early drives was a large factor in the loss the the Wolverines. [Again, so what? Why was the offense so much worse this game. Sure they may not have played all that well, but they did show up in other games]

The loss to Michigan was devastating to Penn State fans everywhere. Hopes of an undefeated season went down the tubes in the last second of a football game [you've said this, word for word, already]. Despite the incredible disappointment, we, as Penn State fans, must work to overcome this defeat. Penn State students must continue to be as supportive of the team as they were before. We're some of the best fans in the country. We can't lose faith. With our support, Penn State football can still have an amazing season.

[This paper doesn't really engage with the issues of causation. While three ideas are discussed, they are not placed in a larger framework. Further, there is no explanation as to why these three things were picked as the only three things discussed.]


Oct 19, 2005

Causal Argument Rough



This year’s Penn State football team has surprised everyone. After several disappointing years, the Lions have proved to everyone that they are back. Last week’s big win over Ohio State left many people talking about the possibility of an undefeated season. These hopes went down the drain with this past weekend’s loss to Michigan. Penn States loss this past weekend was due to the 2 seconds added to the clock, poor spotting of the ball, and the Lions’ inability to convert on drives early in the game.

When people think about the loss to Michigan in the last second, one main point during the game comes to mind. This key point took place with 28 seconds left in the football game. After a Michigan receiver landed in bounds, failing to stop the clock, some confusion resulted. Lloyd Carr was forced to use a timeout to stop the running clock. After several minutes of arguing with the referees, Carr was able to have several seconds placed back on the time clock. At the time, these 2 seconds seemed insignificant. In reality, these 2 seconds were just enough to allow the Wolverines to score the winning touchdown with just one second left in the game. Without those 2 short seconds, the Wolverines would not have won the game.

Another reason why Penn State was unsuccessful against Michigan was because of the poor spotting on the part of the referees. Over and over again it seemed like Penn State was receiving less than generous spots. The opposite was true for the Wolverines. Especially on several key plays in the third quarter, referees spotted the ball largely in Michigan’s favor. There were several third downs where the Wolverines appeared to come up short of the first down; however, they still got the first down solely by favorable spotting. This truly gave the Wolverines a large advantage, especially towards the end of the game, by allowing them to continue their drives, and score points.

While the referees can be blamed for some of the loss, the Lions deserve some of the blame as well. Despite playing an amazing first quarter and consistently driving down the field, the Lions were unable to convert their opportunities in the first half. The Penn State offense was given several opportunities to put points on the board early in the game. We drove down the field at an impressive rate, converting consistently on third and even fourth downs. However, despite impressive drives, we were unable score any points. Missed field goals and key turnovers kept the Lions from scoring any points in the first half of the game. Penn State trailed 3-0 at the end of the first quarter. This inability to convert was costly in the end.

The loss to Michigan was devastating to Penn State fans everywhere. Hopes of an undefeated season went down the tubes in the last second of a football game. Despite the incredible disappointment, we, as Penn State fans, must work to overcome this defeat and continue our successful season.