Most recent edit on 2005-09-18 18:13:58 by EschaTon
Additions:
Anxiousness [Anxiety] filled me. I finished packing my things for college. It was the day before I would move into a new place, and I didn’t want to leave anything behind. I drew checkmarks on my list as I loaded my final belongings into cardboard boxes. I reached the bottom of the list. ["]Airsoft Gun,["] it read, followed by a question mark. I was unsure whether or not I should go purchase the toy gun. It seemed like something that would be fun to do in my free time; however, I realized that it could get me into trouble as well. After asking my brother what he thought, I decided that it wouldn’t be a wise decision. Without purchasing it, I crossed the final item off my list.
I began unloading boxes from the truck after arriving at school early the next day. I was nearly finished unpacking when my roommate arrived later that morning. We both got settled in and sent our parents on their way. As we sat alone in our new home, Ryan and I began to talk about things. Within about five minutes, we were both drooling over the air soft ["AirSoft" (you need to make this consistent throughout your paper)] gun that he had brought with him to Penn State. We began shooting the plastic bullets into our pillows and all over our room. The floor was soon covered in plastic ammunition. By the next day, we had targets set up in our room to shoot.
It was early in the afternoon on our third day in the dorm that was our new home. Ryan was at his computer and I was bored. I got up out of my chair and went over to Ryan’s closet. I opened up the outside door and then the sock drawer where I found the pistol. With intentions set upon shooting a left-over cardboard box, I set the pistol on my desk and began to load the clip. As the plastic BB’s fell into place, I heard a voice behind me, “Um, Excuse me.” I turned around. It was the RA on duty. He continued, “I’m Dan, the RA on the ninth floor. Could I please see your Penn State ID card?” I complied, handing him the ID and apologizing for the situation. The gun was confiscated[,] and I was told to make an appointment the next day for a meeting. As instructed, I called Kristen from Residence Life the next day. I set up an appointment to meet with her.
I entered the pale office, awaiting my punishment. Kristin informed me that I was being charged under the Firearms code of a PSU form that I had signed, but never read. A letter would go into my Penn State record regarding the incident. I complied and signed the paper. My copy is hanging on the wall of my dorm.
[Overall, this is a well written paper, but I fail to see what it is supposed to tell a reader about you as a person.]
Deletions:
Anxiousness filled me. I finished packing my things for college. It was the day before I would move into a new place, and I didn’t want to leave anything behind. I drew checkmarks on my list as I loaded my final belongings into cardboard boxes. I reached the bottom of the list. Airsoft Gun, it read, followed by a question mark. I was unsure whether or not I should go purchase the toy gun. It seemed like something that would be fun to do in my free time; however, I realized that it could get me into trouble as well. After asking my brother what he thought, I decided that it wouldn’t be a wise decision. Without purchasing it, I crossed the final item off my list.
I began unloading boxes from the truck after arriving at school early the next day. I was nearly finished unpacking when my roommate arrived later that morning. We both got settled in and sent our parents on their way. As we sat alone in our new home, Ryan and I began to talk about things. Within about five minutes, we were both drooling over the air soft gun that he had brought with him to Penn State. We began shooting the plastic bullets into our pillows and all over our room. The floor was soon covered in plastic ammunition. By the next day, we had targets set up in our room to shoot.
It was early in the afternoon on our third day in the dorm that was our new home. Ryan was at his computer and I was bored. I got up out of my chair and went over to Ryan’s closet. I opened up the outside door and then the sock drawer where I found the pistol. With intentions set upon shooting a left-over cardboard box, I set the pistol on my desk and began to load the clip. As the plastic BB’s fell into place, I heard a voice behind me, “Um, Excuse me.” I turned around. It was the RA on duty. He continued, “I’m Dan, the RA on the ninth floor. Could I please see your Penn State ID card?” I complied, handing him the ID and apologizing for the situation. The gun was confiscated and I was told to make an appointment the next day for a meeting. As instructed, I called Kristen from Residence Life the next day. I set up an appointment to meet with her.
I entered the pale office, awaiting my punishment. Kristin informed me that I was being charged under the Firearms code of a PSU form that I had signed, but never read. A letter would go into my Penn State record regarding the incident. I complied and signed the paper. My copy is hanging on the wall of my dorm.
Oldest known version of this page was edited on 2005-09-09 01:26:50 by WagsBlog []
Page view:
Self Narrative
Anxiousness filled me. I finished packing my things for college. It was the day before I would move into a new place, and I didn’t want to leave anything behind. I drew checkmarks on my list as I loaded my final belongings into cardboard boxes. I reached the bottom of the list. Airsoft Gun, it read, followed by a question mark. I was unsure whether or not I should go purchase the toy gun. It seemed like something that would be fun to do in my free time; however, I realized that it could get me into trouble as well. After asking my brother what he thought, I decided that it wouldn’t be a wise decision. Without purchasing it, I crossed the final item off my list.
I began unloading boxes from the truck after arriving at school early the next day. I was nearly finished unpacking when my roommate arrived later that morning. We both got settled in and sent our parents on their way. As we sat alone in our new home, Ryan and I began to talk about things. Within about five minutes, we were both drooling over the air soft gun that he had brought with him to Penn State. We began shooting the plastic bullets into our pillows and all over our room. The floor was soon covered in plastic ammunition. By the next day, we had targets set up in our room to shoot.
It was early in the afternoon on our third day in the dorm that was our new home. Ryan was at his computer and I was bored. I got up out of my chair and went over to Ryan’s closet. I opened up the outside door and then the sock drawer where I found the pistol. With intentions set upon shooting a left-over cardboard box, I set the pistol on my desk and began to load the clip. As the plastic BB’s fell into place, I heard a voice behind me, “Um, Excuse me.” I turned around. It was the RA on duty. He continued, “I’m Dan, the RA on the ninth floor. Could I please see your Penn State ID card?” I complied, handing him the ID and apologizing for the situation. The gun was confiscated and I was told to make an appointment the next day for a meeting. As instructed, I called Kristen from Residence Life the next day. I set up an appointment to meet with her.
I walked into the office a few minutes before my appointment and was frustrated with myself and with the system. How could it be that thousands of teenagers get away with underage drinking every night and I get busted for a toy gun? How could this be considered a ‘weapon’ when someone could do more damage with a pair of scissors, or even a pen?
I entered the pale office, awaiting my punishment. Kristin informed me that I was being charged under the Firearms code of a PSU form that I had signed, but never read. A letter would go into my Penn State record regarding the incident. I complied and signed the paper. My copy is hanging on the wall of my dorm.